


Don't Get Involved

by EnvelopesYou



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Boys, F/M, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, angsty teens, edgy teens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4500735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnvelopesYou/pseuds/EnvelopesYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The High School AU that no one really wants. Danny is a weird mix of dopey cutie and tough bad boy. How? Who the hell knows. It becomes his mission to drag this girl along on his shenanigans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Settling back into school after the incident, the entire year you missed in only appearance, was going to be tough. In fact, you almost didn’t want to. If you just dropped out now and pursued your G.E.D. it felt like life would finally move forward. You’d be one step closer to being free. The shackles that home tied around your ankles were getting harder and harder to escape the longer you stayed. You hadn’t quite realized how freeing school could be, even if only for eight hours at a time, but sitting on the bus after all that time, you could finally breathe. Away from home and somewhere safe. Finally. -sort of.

Anxiety settled quick in your stomach as everyone leaned over seats, talked with each other. As you got out onto the campus and watched the groups form up in the early morning. Laughing. Talking with each other. You’d fallen out of contact with your friends, through little fault of your own, but would they accept that? Getting through the day with your head down would be easy. So you thought. As long as people didn’t bother you, didn’t recognize you enough to ask where you’d been- you could do this. Just one more year.

Deciding against waiting outside you pushed around all the different circles of friends and just went in through the front doors. They thankfully closed before the talking started. You were unaware. For now.

“Who’s that?” A group of heads perked up, the kids leaning back against the wall.

One among them, clad in a loose leather jacket, hands in his pockets, watched you disappear with a little bit of anticipation. “Can’t remember her name.” He said, bringing his hand back through his bushy brown hair. “She dropped out around the beginning of last year.” No one knew why. There were a million rumors, of course. Probably none of them true.

“Oh!” Some of the others laughed amongst themselves. “Didn’t she bang a teacher or something?” One of the more popular theories.

Danny just shook his head. “That girl? No way.” She looked far too innocent to ever pull a stunt like that. And far too sad. The rumor mill would continue swirling, and if he could at least keep his own crew quiet, he’d try.

But that wouldn’t stop anyone else. As you settled into the back of your first period english class, you knew people were talking. Some of them looked back, caught your eyes, and then looked anywhere else. Giggled to themselves- at your expense, no doubt. Maybe this wasn’t any freer than home. It felt the same. Terrible. You kept your head down while the teacher rambled on his first day lecture about creativity and working hard and who cared what else. Did any of this matter? Angry scrawlings found their way on the back of your notebook, filling in the top margin of the last page with long, thick strokes of your pen. None of it mattered.

Second period you had gym and even on the first day they wanted people to get changed and play a ‘friendly game’ of kickball. It wasn’t that you forgot your clothes, though that’s what you told the teacher with a shrug, it was that you didn’t want to bring them. No energy. So they sentenced you to sit back against the wall, and you slumped down, dropping your bag beside you.

“Can’t say I expected any different.” The teacher was admonishing someone else- a tall lanky boy with his hands stuck in his jacket and a lackluster and uncaring grin. A roll of his shoulders in a shrug.

You ducked your head down into your notebook as he approached and sat down next to you. Directly to your left. A little uncomfortably close. There was the whole wall. Why was he sitting so close? You were content to just ignore him the entire period. But apparently he did not feel the same way. “So, do you remember them as much as they remember you?”

This felt like quite the loaded question. Your pen came to a rest in the center of the page. “Whatever you’re going to ask me I did, I didn’t.” Less than two hours into school already and you’d heard just about everything they had to say. There was no way to put it straight to every single person, and they’d probably just go on believing whatever they wanted to anyway. What was the point of any of it?

“Wasn’t trying to imply I thought you slept with a teacher.” You kept your eyes straight ahead, watching some of the other kids who hadn’t wanted to play ball running laps. “Or punched the principal in the dick.”

The audacity- no- the ridiculousness of this actually surprised you enough for a snort of a laugh. Your hand flew up to your mouth. “Is that what they’re saying?” You finally chanced a look at him and he was smiling back at you. Amused by your reaction.

“No, but I can totally make that happen.”

Did you know this boy? He felt familiar. Not one of your closest friends before the break, or even a friend at all. But he’d at least been in one of your classes, hadn’t he? You struggled trying to place him- it was because he’d changed, too. Grew his hair out into a handsomely unkept mane. Had grown some stubble that probably had the rest of the seniors very jealous. Looked tireder than he may have in sophomore year.

“Is dangerous working out better for you than nerd?” You remembered him sitting in the back of some of your science classes. Excited about playing with chemicals. Loud laughter. Short hair. Glasses that seemed missing now. Contacts, maybe? Now he seemed like he was trying to play the angle a little too hard. But what did you know? A lot could have happened in that missing year.

“Ooo, harsh.” Reaching his hand up to his chest as if you’d shot him in the heart. “But yes, by the way. Working very well.” You had to agree. He looked a lot handsomer than you remembered with those ill fitting clothes. Then again, leather looked pretty good on anyone willing to dare.

“Teachers don’t seem to think so.” They were probably writing him off- or trying to figure out what had caused such a serious one-eighty.

He waved his hand in hard dismissal. “What do they know?” Ah, so. Being written off came with its problems. “I’m graduating. That’s all they really care about.” One last year. You, too. At least you hoped so.

When you looked up to the two teachers pretending to coach kids on the other side of the gym, you saw them staring right at the both of you. “Maybe not all they care about.” Were they talking about you?

He looked up through the fringe of his hair, arching a brow. “They’re probably gonna give you some bull about not getting involved with me.” Like he’d had this happen before. But why not? If he lured good girls in with this bad boy routine, there was probably cause for alarm.

The trouble was that you still had the image of that kid with the big framed glasses and the dopey smile still in the back of your head. The last thing you remembered of him hanging around the back of your classes. You’d been too shy to make any sort of contact. But he remembered you just as well, for what it was. You had this silly kid in your head- so how had he turned into this?

“We’re barely talking.” He had just sat down and started a short conversation. Was that really considered ‘getting involved’? You didn’t feel like it. After this you’d probably never talk again.

“But to them it looks like I’m trying to _lure_ the lamb.” How not-serious this statement was was terrible obvious- especially when his head fell forward and he laughed at himself.

And yet you took the slightest bit of offense to it. “I’m no lamb.” You’d been through too much now to even consider yourself something so small and shaking. ...even if that’s what you felt standing out in the front.

He took a breath in and sat back straight again, hanging his arms over his bent knees. “No? Well I’m certainly not in your league.”

You just found yourself rolling your eyes. “Punks in leather jackets with five o’clock shadow? I think I’ll count my blessings.”

“You want one? -a jacket, I mean.” Giggling. He was giggling. Was that a sound a supposedly bad influence made? “They’re super comfy.”

“I think I’ll pass on becoming a Shark today.” Out of nowhere your face warmed. You could feel the faint dust of pink.

He laughed again. “We’re white as hell, if you couldn’t tell. Jets all the way.” His hand went back through his hair again. “And I don’t dance too good.”

Your knees came up, pressing your notebook closer to your face. Anxiety was making its mark again. Or was it just embarrassment? “They’re called rumbles.”

“Yeah. Well. If I’m gonna sing a song about Maria, I have to know what her name is.” His tone implied ‘if you catch my drift’. He was just pretending like he didn’t notice your struggle. ...which was nice.

But the longer this went on the harder it was. You weren’t really sure why. Maybe it was just too much the first time back. That was why when the bell rang you sprung up. “I have to go.” You didn’t waste any time in letting your legs take you far away.

“...bye?” You heard behind you.

As much as you would have liked to spend the next period sitting in the back of the class not listening, and instead thinking about him- what was his name. You thought you remembered... Your thoughts were interrupted when a counselor came to pick you up. Word traveled fast. And as you walked back to the guidance office you saw him lounging out in the hallway, hands still in his jacket as if they were glued in there. He gave you a look of- what was it, worry? Questioning, more likely. But you just kept your head down and kept walking.

Once in the office with the door shut you looked anywhere but at the woman trying to talk to you. “So, first day back. I know it’s probably pretty hard getting resettled...” You didn’t feel like talking. Telling her she was right. Or wrong- or even trying to argue that getting settled was hard when you’d just been visibly pulled out of class. Even more reason for the kids to talk about you behind your back. She cleared her throat. “Anyway. It’s sort of come to my attention that one of the other students seems to be taking a visible interest in you- I don’t know if you noticed we actually walked by him in the hall...”

This was disgusting.  
And apparently these people hadn’t learned that trying to tell someone not to do something was basically the same as pushing them to do it.

You just kept your eyes to the window. Wishing you were anyone else. Anywhere else. “I know, I know! This isn’t what you want to hear...” Laughing awkwardly to herself as she was trying to relate to you. “But we just feel like getting reacquainted with your surroundings is going to be harder if you hang around a student like him.”

“Why? What did he do?” If you were going to be forced into this hell, you might as well find out. -god, this was unbelievable. You’d barely even talked to him. How had he known they’d do this?

“Do? Nothing! He’s just...” Shaking her hands. “We feel it’s in your best interests not to fall in with a crowd like his.” Oh god was she fucking serious? What was this, an after school special? Next she was going to tell you not to do drugs. Ugh. “We really want your last year here to be great, especially after-“ The look you dared to give her made her stop. Thank god. “Anyway. It’ll be a lot harder if you- oh gosh I know this sounds silly but- fall in with the wrong crowd.”

“Whatever.” The only thing you felt like you could say. This was embarrassing and awful. Why would they do this?

“Come on. You’ve got one more year. Right? Just focus on that.” This was the worst. She opened her desk drawer and started scribbling on a small slip of paper. A hall pass, no doubt. “Here you go. Back to class with you. And remember if you need anything I’m-“

The second she held it out for you you took it out of her hand and blew right out of her office. Sort of hoped he’d still be lingering out in the hallway, but he wasn’t. Sheer defiance. Not only because they’d told you not to- and what right did they have to do that besides?- but because you wanted to get to know what made the teachers so wary about him. What had turned him so sharply from big geek to the hunk that was walking around now-

Oh god. Mental warbling sounded in your head. Loud groaning.  
Disgusting. Had you just thought about him as a ‘hunk’? Gross. Absolutely gross.

Funny how two years ago you wouldn’t have even imagined a word like that to describe something like him. Maybe he’d just come into his own. And for whatever reason he’d wanted to talk to you. Remembered you, a little. And heard some things while you were gone, not that that was rare. Hadn’t everyone?

You spent the next few periods in a weird mixed daze of anger, frustration, and confusion. This was only your first day, damn it. This was too much. You’d just wanted to quietly reengage with school. Forget about home for a little while. Just do what you had to do to get it done. Now you had all this shit thrown at you. The worst thing was that that counselor pulling you out of class had people whispering even harder. What did you do now? Would you leave again? God couldn’t they find anything else interesting to talk about?

You had absolutely no appetite when lunch rolled around, which was fine because you didn’t have money either. The thought of spending it in the bathroom was too much for you to ignore. At least in there it’d be quiet. At least in there you wouldn’t have to sit by yourself with everyone onlooking. But before you could make it in either direction you saw him standing, looking down the opposite side of the hall. Looking for something, hands still glued inside his pockets-

“They really don’t like you.” Said with all the confidence in the world, and you’d apparently come out of nowhere, or he’d been much too concentrated looking for whatever it was he was looking for because he jumped a little.

“Oh- shit. You came outta nowhere.” Grinning to himself about how startled he’d gotten, just before he realized what you were saying and frowned slightly. “Oh yeah? Well fuck them.” His hand finally came out of his pocket so he could point his thumb towards the front door. “I’m going. Wanna come with?”

“Out for lunch?” Did he have a car? Not uncommon for most seniors. It beat riding the bus, anyway.

But the genuine innocence of your answer dragged a smile and a warm laugh out of him. “Yeah. Sure. Coming?” He was cutting class. Probably taking off for the rest of the day. You understood this as soon as you caught the way he was looking at you.

Admiring your sweetness.  
Fuck him, too. You didn’t need to be protected. Or marveled at.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

“Awesome.”

You’d just wanted your first day to go smoothly.  
Where had you gone wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

“Mm,” He was leaning half out of his window, “Two large fries, one large sprite- uh- I don’t fucking know...” Giggling to himself as he looked back at you for any sort of indication on what kind of garbage he should be ordering. You just shrugged at him. “Nuggets or whatever.”

There was an audible crackle of a sigh through the drive-through order box. “Is that all?”

“Yeap.” Before she could even total it for him he sat back in his seat and pulled the car around. You’d expected something sleek and dangerous, but just like every other thing about him, all was not as dangerous as it seemed. ...at least appearance wise. It was a junky old used car, no doubt. Probably very dangerous. But not for the right reasons. When he pulled up but the girl was still readying the order he started digging around in the back seat. “Shit.”

Her windows opened. “That’ll be eight fifty.”

He jerked back into his seat and then leaned over again to dump a wad of change on her counter before his hands went into his pockets and he threw a couple of crumpled bills up too. She just gave him a nasty look, like he’d done this often enough for her to be agitated with him. Then again, this was pretty annoying. “That’s enough I think.” Laughing as he fully sat back in his seat, arm going over the wheel.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” Asked with a purse of her lips as she swept the change into her hand and tossed it in the register. “And who’s that? You being a bad influence?”

“Name’s Maria, I think.” Grinning at you once before looking back up at the woman. “We’re only out for lunch. Don’t worry.” This was a big lie and she probably knew it too.

She handed him the soda and then practically threw the bag of food at him. “He’s trouble, honey. Run while you can.”

He passed the soda to you and set the bag on the middle console. “Thanks, Janice!” His wheels screeched as he hit it too hard and peeled out of the lot. The entire ride there he’d been just as reckless- you were starting to question if he even had his license. Or if this was really a good idea being out with him. Probably not. Absolutely not.

Your counselor had been looking out for you and now some random McDonald’s lady was, too. That probably should have been enough red flags for you to try and excuse yourself back to school. You sat back tightly in your seat, watching the road ahead. He was looking at you out of the corner of his eye every other opportunity. Not sure what to say. But at least you had a segue “My name’s not Maria.” It was a little too quaint to be a running joke.

“Good because to be honest I can’t really hit that high note.” He turned left without indicating and into the mall parking lot, stopping all the way in the back. “So uh, what is your name?” Reaching out as silently he asked to take the soda out of your lap and sip on it. Then it went into the cup holder.

“___.” Said as absently as you could manage while opening the bag and taking out a box of fries. “You know, for as much as people have been warning me about you, no one’s actually said your name. Starting to think you don’t actually have one.” Trying to play it cool but failing miserably. It felt like nothing you said was good enough. So to cover you stuffed some fries into your mouth.

But he laughed softly at your efforts before flipping down the visor so he could retrieve a pack of cigarettes. Of course. Classic ‘bad boy’. It was almost like he was trying to show off at this point. He lit one and stowed the pack again, taking a long drag and hanging his hand out the window, tapping once against the car to loose some ash. “Danny.” When he spoke the smoke came out with the sound of his name.

Did you remember that name? Sort of. In the end it was of little importance what you remembered from two years ago. You swallowed the food you’d chewed up before speaking again. “Sorry. I gotta ask.” You actually didn’t have to, but it would bother you all day if you didn’t. He looked over, arching his eyebrow. “We barely spoke for ten minutes. Why’d you pick me up?”

“Why’d you come?”

You had been hoping this wouldn’t be his answer, but a part of you had already knew it would be, so it wasn’t like you could be surprised. Your eyes left his, back to the red box in your lap. “I don’t know.”

“Hmmn.” This was an amused noise accompanied with more smoke. “Bullshit.” Taking another long drag before he spoke again. “The same reason you came with is the reason I asked.”

That you were overwhelmed? That you hadn’t wanted to be there? Didn’t want to listen to the rumor mill spinning? People talking about you like you weren’t within ear shot? Staring at you like you couldn’t see them? ...trying to expressly defy the teachers who were doing the exact same thing?

“I just think you’re not as bad as they say.” As much as you’d been warned.

“You don’t know anything about me.” For once this wasn’t quirky amusement at your expense. He was looking out the window as he said it, and the lull in his otherwise chipper tune was a little concerning.

You took the soda back in your hand, taking a long obnoxious slurp. Then when the straw popped out of your mouth, “Well gee I’m super glad I got into a car with a guy I know nothing about. You gonna murder me next?” A little annoyed.

He snickered, looking at you again. “You’re blaming me for your poor life decisions?”

“Everyone seems to think I should.” The longer you stayed involved, anyway.

Reaching across he offered the cigarette up to you. “Be my fucking guest.”

And in much the same vein, the sheer need to defy, you took it from his fingers and put it to your own lips. A slow inhale. The burn was incredible, right down the back of your throat. You pushed it back into his hand as calmly as possible, held the smoke in, felt your chest tighten. Felt the bubble of a cough- don’t blow this- don’t-

It overpowered you and soon your hand flew up to your mouth as you expelled out the smoke in a few strong coughs. His laughter rang out hard. The edges where he had to draw in breath were just slightly squeaky. “Oh god. I’m gonna need a lot more time if I’m gonna- I don’t fucking know- turn you into the devil’s new minion or whatever.”

Whatever wasn’t even a close enough word. You weren’t sure what he was doing. What he was after. Except maybe a cheap laugh. He’d been doing it a lot. And if that was why... he was no better than the ones pretending not to laugh at you when your back was turned. “Is that all this is? Just an afternoon of fun for you?”

“What? You’re not having fun?” His smile was probably meant to be comforting but it just wasn’t. You set your lips forward in, what was hopefully not too pouty, anger and he held his free hand up. “Alright. I get it. We’re on two different wave lengths. I hadn’t realized just how much until now.”

That sounded like a good-bye or something. And even though you were a little pissed at him, you didn’t want it. “I’m not some prissy princess.” Just because you’d second guessed cutting school? Couldn’t handle a cigarette?

“But you are out to prove something- and. Fine. I don’t like it when those douche bags imply I ruin lives, but- uuuhhh...” He swung his hand around a little trying to find something a little less incriminating to say. There was nothing, though. “Uh. Well, look. You had good grades even out of school, right? And now you’re skipping class and all I had to do was ask once.” He tipped the cigarette in your direction. “I’m getting you to smoke with simple suggestion- I meeeean...”

All things considered, he could probably very seriously put a dent in some of your things. You weren’t sure what he was capable of. What other things he did that people didn’t approve of but he had to have a big enough arsenal to get teachers nervous. “Did you ever consider that’s what I want?”

He giggled with a shake of his head. “Not particularly, no. And you’re not totally selling me on it now, either.” He tapped his cigarette on the side of the car again, apparently refusing to look at you. “Normally I’d just do whatever but I kinda feel bad so-“

“Hey, fuck you.” He had no right to just assume what you did and didn’t want. What you could or couldn’t handle. And neither did the teachers.

He squared back in his seat, turning his head to smile at you. “Aw yeah. Once more with feeling!” Taunting you.

“No I’m- I mean it! Fuck you!” Getting a little flustered because you weren’t sure what the hell you were doing. You just knew you were angry. At him. At everybody. At life. “I can decide what I wanna do with my own fucking life! And if you’re gonna be my chariot to hell then fuck it. I get to decide that!” This was completely over dramatic and ridiculous but you’d never had an outlet for any of this before.

Embarrassment prickled up and down your arms as he laughed at you. Again. “Chariot to hell? Holy fucking christ. Oh my god...” He put his free hand to his face, hiding his eyes, shaking his head, before running it back through his hair. When his giggles subsided he just gave you a long look accompanied with a dopey smile. “Alright then fuck it I guess. If that’s what you want.”

“How bad could you possibly be?” A lot of this impulsiveness was coming from the place that he wasn’t actually that bad at all. Sneaking out of school. Driving recklessly. Leather jacket. Cigarettes. Sure. Whatever. Honestly. How bad?

“I guess we can find out together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join the party at the envelopesyou tumblr, we're a'waiting for you!


	3. Chapter 3

He dropped you a block from your house so you could pretend you’d walked. The school hadn’t called. You thanked every god that may or may not have been out there. At least someone was looking out for you. It didn’t really settle in how much trouble you could get into until you thought about what might happen if a call got to the house. It was an inevitability, though, right? If you kept hanging around Danny... someone would make a call eventually. It was why you tried to put the brakes on for the next week. While you were content to hang out with him in the hall and talk with him in class, pass notes that had you both hiding giggles... skipping again seemed like a bad idea. You got lucky.

No need to push it.  
But you wanted to.

How bad was he? You kept asking yourself this. How bad could he be? The boy who knew how to fold a perfectly tucked triangle note that asked you ‘do you like me’ with check boxes for yes and no. Seriously. How bad?

Right before lunch on friday your guidance counselor pulled you out of class. Again. Hadn’t once been enough? Apparently not because there you were, taking the walk of shame down the hall. This time Danny was nowhere to be seen out in the hall. Which was probably better for the both of you. Less for this lady to go on about. When you plopped in the seat your gaze went immediately out the window.

“So! Okay. Just a little check in, that’s all.... some of the staff- and myself..” She seemed like she didn’t know what to say. Or what she wanted to say. Annoying. Pointless, too. You were missing class time for this. Not that you’d been paying much attention. Notebooks were being filled up in the margins with scribbles and doodles ... and his name. Just a few times. In different script fonts. Just to see what it’d look like. No other reason...

“I’ve noticed that Leigh is taking a very big interest in you, and I know we talked about it a little-“

“Leigh? Who’s that?” Maybe she had you confused with someone else. Or him with someone else. At least that way one of you would be off the hook.

She glanced down at a file on her desk. “Leigh- sorry, he goes by his middle name, doesn’t he. Daniel?” This blew you away. Utterly blew you away.

He was just a document to them. A piece of paper. He was one of their students and they couldn’t even call him by the name he preferred? “Danny.” You corrected tightly. How could they be so callous? This must have been the reason he didn’t like them. Now you understood why. You... sort of ached on his behalf. Strange.

“Yes, well. Danny’s a bit familiar, isn’t it? That’s what I’m trying to get at...” The more you fought back the less certain she seemed that this talk was good. It wasn’t, though. Didn’t she get that?

“That’s what he likes to be called. It’s got nothing to do with whether or not we’re friends.” These people were supposed to care about their students. But they didn’t. They didn’t at all.

The woman sighed and sat forward just a little, cupping her hands together. “But you are friends now, right? After we talked... after I warned you- what did you do? You skipped school with him.” You couldn’t stand to look at her. “Now, I didn’t call your father, so I was hoping you’d listen to me. Or I might have to.”

This caused both a trickle of fear and a flood of new anger to hit you. Your face washed with red shame and rage. How dare she? Threatening you? Because _that_ would make you listen. You just stared her down. Couldn’t say anything. Wished you had nothing to say. But you weren’t that cool yet. If you had the guts you’d tell her to fuck off.  
But you just couldn’t do it.

“I know you had a tough year, and I think hanging around Leigh is a cry for help.” Ugh.  
UGH.  
Fucking UGH.  
“And I want you to know that we’re here to help you. I’m here. He’s not going to help you, ___. I can promise you that.”

You hated this woman. You’d never hated anyone as much as you hated her. You were sure of it. ...but was she wrong? Danny was... different. A troublemaker. For sure. But he made you smile. He made you feel better. So what you’d skipped school? Smoked once? Big deal. What did she know? Fuck her.

“Did you guys talk to him?” Wanting to know if he’d grill you for this. For getting him in trouble. You knew how much he hated them, so he’d maybe have a right. And you knew why, now.

“Oh- no-“ This struck you as odd. Why not? -not that you really wanted them to. “I figured it was safest just to talk to you.” Make you responsible for your own behavior. Not tell him to back off- well. What good would that do? If the man told him to do something he’d probably do the opposite.

But that’s what you’d done the first time. And that was sure as hell what you were gonna do once she let you go. “Please don’t give him any more attention, ___. If you need help, we can keep him away from you. Switch your shared classes.” Bullshit. This was all such garbage. “Okay? Are you listening? Stay away from Leigh.”

“His name is Danny!!” Fuck you FUCK YOU. “And maybe if you cared about him as much as you’re pretending to care about me he wouldn’t be the way he is!” FUCK. YOU. “-AND- there’s nothing wrong with him anyway!”

She put her hands up. You hadn’t realized you’d stood up until you were staring her down. “Okay, okay. We’re getting a little heated here. Just take a breath...” When you just continued to stand there- “Would you have raised your voice to an authority figure like this two years ago? Think about it. Think about the effect he’s having on you. It’s already so clear-“

“Are you writing me up? Am I in trouble?”

“No! No of course not. But you have the very real potential-“

That was all the confirmation you needed that you were done. You couldn’t stand there any longer and listen to her trash talk Danny and just shit all over you. So you swung your bag over your shoulder and ignored her one meaningless cry for you to stay put. So what you didn’t have a hall pass. You weren’t going very far. Just bolting down one set of stairs and into the bathroom near the math class.

It was empty, thank god. You went right into the stall in the end, put the seat down, sat on top, put your bag in your lap and-

Did the worst thing imaginable.  
Cried.  
You cried.

It was a miracle at all that you’d been able to keep the tears at bay in front of her. But why give her more to talk about? Next thing you knew, if you’d done that, she’d make you go to therapy. You’d been threatened with that before, too. And those fucking zombie pills. But no. Now instead you sat in the girl’s bathroom, crying softly. In anger. Out of desperation. Not knowing what else to do. How else to put this all into anything else.

The bell rang overhead and you could hear the shuffle of feet in the hallway, tons of loud voices all merging into one obnoxious sound. Lunch. You knew you had to get it together. So you pressed your hands to your eyes, opening your pack to try and find any sort of tissues to help you out. Nothing, of course. You were never prepared. Not when it counted. You just pressed and pressed and pressed- and waited for the set of girls that had walked in to walk back out. The bell rang again. Less people in the hall.

Once you were sure you were alone you went right to the sink, wetting some paper towels grabbed hastily from the plastic contraption on the wall and then pressed them gently to your face. Under your eyes. Cool water. Hopefully... it would be enough. Then you angled your head back. Breathed deep a couple of times. Get it together.  
It’s okay.  
It’s fine...

Despite what was available to you you ended up wiping your nose on the back of your hand a few times. Old habit. Gross habit. Didn’t matter now. Sniffled a few times, tried that deep breathing thing again before inspecting yourself in the mirror. Not too bad. Passable. You could just... say you had allergies. Or something.

There was only one person you wanted to find, though. And luckily he hadn’t taken off for the day. He was sitting smack-dab in the middle of the lunch room with some other kids. You’d seen them around before- around him, too. Must have been part of his clique. They didn’t bother you so you hadn’t bothered them. But now you wished they weren’t around.

As if he could sense you, Danny looked up and met eyes with you. Arched a brow. But he didn’t get up. Instead he made you come to him. Asshole. So you did. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” Double asshole.

You shifted awkwardly. Everyone was staring at you. “Alone?” You were too weak after the episode to even demand this of him. It came out as a meek question that he could absolutely say no to. What if he did? You’d just... you don’t even know. Go back to the bathroom, probably.

Thankfully he didn’t. He just nodded to his crew, and they nodded in response, some sort of stupid secret code or something you imagined. Then he swung his legs back over the bench and walked out of the cafeteria with you. “You okay, little lamb?” His tone had softened drastically. Concerned.

The nickname didn’t even really touch your awareness. “That bitch called me out of class again.” The anger came back. You felt it shaking your nerves.

“Oh, whoa.” Grinning down at you as his hands went into his jacket pockets. “That bad, huh? Breaking out the big girl language?”

But his teasing wasn’t helping. “She kept calling you Leigh.” And this did exactly what you hoped it would. It wiped that stupid fucking smirk right off his face. But now that he wasn’t smiling at you you almost couldn’t bear to look at him. What if he was angry? You kept your eyes glued down the hall. “It was disgusting.” Your trembles were becoming noticeable. “She said she’d call my dad-“

Finally he laid a hand to your shoulder to try and stop you. All it did was make you hold your breath. “What’s he gonna do?” This sounded like it could be more bad-boy talk.  
Oh- what’s he gonna do? Nothing. That’s what.

But that wasn’t what it was.  
He was nervous.  
Yes, what could your father do? Should Danny be worried- not for his sake. No no... but for you... “I don’t know. Yell at me? Who cares.”

“You wouldn’t’ve brought it up if you weren’t worried about it.” Dead pan. Too quick for you. Like he knew. He just knew. You felt your shoulder quivering under his hand. Your arms had folded under your chest. Like you were freezing. But it was far worse than that.

“Can we go?” This was tightly controlled. Scared you were going to lose it again- but god, please, not in front of him. He’d probably just laugh at you. What a baby. Hadn’t you said you wanted to be hard? And yet one confrontation with a guidance counselor had you weeping. You weren’t anything like him. He _had_ made fun of you for even trying.

His arm came around your shoulder. Something comforting, even in its foreignness. He was warm, and a solid guiding force. “Where do you wanna go?” He checked down both ends of the hall before escorting you forward a few steps.

“I don’t care.” Just anywhere that wasn’t there. God you couldn’t take it anymore.

“You need to chill out.” This wasn’t admonishing, but you felt the sting nonetheless. “I’ve got just the thing.” His grin this time, when you dared to look, suggested that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. But you had no other bridges to cross back over to.

That was the danger in it all. The kids had isolated you and the teachers had made you feel like you couldn’t talk to them about anything.  
Danny was the only person you could go to, now. And wherever that was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what's happening over at the envelopesyou tumblr but it's a party. Of the Dan variety. You are super invited. Drop me an ask with your favorite thing about yourself for one free Danny.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags changed. Observe them well. This chapter has some sexual content and drug use.

There was no conversation passed between the two of you has he took down the road. That was fine, though, you were too in your head to really think about talking to him. Was this a good idea? Should you be doing whatever it was he was about to try and rope you into? Absolutely not. How bad could he be- how bad could he be... that question kept echoing in your head. And when he pulled into the driveway of a ...

Decent but small looking house you felt almost relieved. “Are your parents home?” Because this had to be his house.

“Nah.” Nonchalant as ever. But at least that answered your question.

The discomfort started to settle back in harder than you imagined it would. You were at his house. Alone. Isn’t this exactly the sort of thing that annoying woman was warning you about? What if he was actually super depraved? What if he tried to pull anything? You wouldn’t be able to get away-

But... Danny wasn’t like that. Right? You didn’t feel like it. He giggled. And he cared about you. You could feel it. He took you away when you wanted to go, every time. He passed you notes in class and made you feel ...

The house was nicely decorated. A little dim, though. There wasn’t much room to see it, he led you straight all the way back and into what had to be his room. Littered with band posters- most of which were Rush and... The Last Unicorn?

Okay. Super not-bad-boy you had here.

There was a guitar in the corner by the window that looked wholly unused. Trying to pick up chicks with it, maybe? That’s what bad-boys did, right? He closed the door and you heard the slide of a lock. What for? Who knew. Maybe he just liked his privacy. You did, too. And the feeling like you were safe overrode what the hell was happening around you. No one could bust in, at least.

“Sit down.” It was either on the bed or the floor- so you picked the floor, albeit in front of the bed, leaning back against the frame. You shimmied your bag off your shoulders and threw it in the corner, and then your knees came up to your chest. Just a little protectively. Keeping yourself close. He went over to the stereo and turned on something you didn’t quite recognize.

But it was nice. Soft. Mellow. Then he reached into the cabinet underneath, into the far back, having to lean a little, and produced a little wooden box. The anxiety crept back in. You didn’t have any experience with this but had seen enough shitty propaganda and druggy-teen movies to know what was happening. He sat down next to you and you curled a little tighter into yourself. “Look- feel free to laugh all you want-“ Because he probably would. “But I don’t think-“

“Shhh...” His long legs spread out in front of him and he opened the clasp on the front. Inside were neatly lined- uh. What were they called. Joints, you guessed? “You need to chill out. You’re gonna think yourself into a heart attack.” He talked as if he knew exactly what that was like. Maybe he did.

Your stomach felt funny. “I just don’t... think it’s a good idea...” Little lamb. Prissy princess. Square. That’s what you were. Nothing would ever change that.

He picked one of the fatter, longer ones hiding underneath the top layer and then put the box down, sliding it under the bed. Who knew why. He retrieved a lighter out of the inside pocket of his jacket and lit the tip, breathing in a couple of times before pulling it back and releasing a long steady stream of smoke. “If you don’t wanna that’s cool.” Was it, though? He was just gonna sit there and get high while you sat there and... watched? “But it’s not gonna kill you. And I think it’ll really help.”

You felt yourself frowning as you looked at it- just as he was offering it up to you. Memories of the burn that the cigarette caused came flooding back. Should you? No. But... no.. but- “I don’t... know how.” Probably just the same thing as the cigarette. Take one inhale and let it out-

His laugh was soft. “I got’cha. It’s good.” He leaned over, brushing the backs of his fingers over your cheek. Your face lit on fire instantly. “Do you trust me?”

What kind of fucking stupid question was that? “No.” You barely knew him. Yet you’d gotten into a car with him twice and now had followed him back to his house. Didn’t you... sort of trust him a little by now? “I don’t know. Why? Is that important?”

He leaned in even closer. The closest he’d ever been. You could smell that stupid guy cologne he no doubt bathed in. ...even if it was sort of nice. Could finally see just how brown his eyes were- the exact shade. You felt so hot. “Yeah. A little. So do you or don’t you?”

You swallowed hard. “I- yes. I guess.” Would you be there with him if you didn’t?

His smile was alluring and warm. Made you feel good for saying yes. His thumb swiped under your chin before pressing up a little, his pointer finger angling just underneath your lips. Tilting you closer to his own face. “Take a deep breath, and then exhale slow. And when I come in, inhale even slower. Okay?”

You felt frozen and yet just on the brink of melting into a puddle. “Should I close my eyes?” This was stupid. So stupid. Why ask that?

He giggled. “If you want.” Then he turned his head away so he could take a long drag of the joint. When he tilted back in you let your eyes close- only halfway- still a little scared. Watching him. You breathed in. And then back out all the way.

He came in close. So close. You felt his open lips just barely brush yours. And then felt him breathe out. Felt the hot, heavy smoke as it filled your mouth. You breathed in. Expecting something bad, but got nothing save a dull, rolling burn in your lungs. Your eyes closed all the way as he passed every last bit of smoke from his lungs to yours. You breathed it in- him in- deeply. And just when you couldn’t inhale anymore, and maybe when he couldn’t exhale any longer either, his lips sealed yours in a brief kiss. Something startling and amazing.

You wanted more. To keep going- but you couldn’t. The squeak of your lungs overflowing made him back up and you tried to slowly exhale- like he’d been doing. It came out at a sort of medium pace and you heard him laughing again. At least you hadn’t coughed up a lung. But you didn’t feel anything. Were you supposed to? “I don’t think it’s working.”

He smiled, taking another hit. “Give it a minute.”

Your eyes dropped down, realizing your legs had spread out just like his. When had that happened? You held your hands together in your lap. You wanted- ... “Can you do that again?”

Without hesitation, “C’mere.”

So you did. You leaned into him that time, but relished when his hand touched your face. Felt a throb of excitement when he came in, and when the smoke came out. When you could just barely feel the ghost of his lips- and then when he pressed in again and you felt it all. The smoke filled you up completely but it was nothing compared to the feel of him kissing you. Gentle but sure.

You hadn’t realized that your hand had moved until it was on his shoulder, clutching tightly at the lapel of his jacket. Feeling the squinch of leather under your fingertips. When you couldn’t hold it in any longer you tilted your head away, though you really hadn’t wanted to. Breathed out again. And then immediately tried to get him to fall back into another kiss. His hand took yours, smoothing out the creases. “Easy, little lamb. Easy...”

You’d been too wound up earlier to realize how this nickname made you feel. The way he spoke it with such adoring familiarity. For some reason the corner of your lips turned up into a smile. “Why do you keep calling me that?” You already knew. But you wanted to hear it from his perspective.

“Because,” He said, taking another drag and leaning back in. His lips so close to yours. “That’s what you are.”

You breathed in every word like it was fresh air, the only way to survive. That’s. What. You. Are.  
That and a million other things. Needy and desperate shooting to the top of the list. And not knowing what to do with those. Save for kissing. Which was terribly nice.

But not as much when he kept backing away. Maybe because you weren’t really kissing. Maybe because he was just getting you high and kissing wasn’t what he wanted to do. Not with someone like you. He could have had anyone. Not with you. You sat back heavily against the bed, looking at the turned off TV against the wall. Watching your reflection in the screen. “And what are you?”

“An asshole. Clearly.” This response was so candid and unexpected that you laughed without realizing it for a few seconds. You were instead transfixed to the black screen- and what you could see in it. Him looking at you. Smiling to himself. “Feeling better yet?”

“Sort of.” You weren’t sure what you were feeling. But at least it was nice. “Why are they so mean to you at school?” This came out of nowhere, and you watched the raise of his brows beyond the fringe of his curly bangs in the TV.

“Are they? I think I’m okay.” He sat back all the way, raising one knee up so he could hang his arm over it. Casual. So like him.

“She kept calling you Leigh.” You couldn’t think of anything but that so suddenly. How angry you’d been- how impossible it felt now to get angry. You just felt the whisper of the moment. And then the sadness again. “I told her that wasn’t-“

He raised his arm up, drawing it across your shoulders and pulling you close to him. “She called you into her office to yell at you and all you can think about is my feelings?” You watched him shake his head. “You’re something else.”

Your head fell to the crook of his neck, unable to keep yourself afloat any longer. Not when he was pulling you in. You stopped watching the Danny-show on TV and let your eyes close. “What am I?” Wispy and wondering.

“High. That’s for fucking sure.” His laughter was unbelievable. Or maybe it was just that you were so close that you could feel it. Shaking his chest. Vibrating in your ears. The good kind of sound. One of the best.

“Am I?” The question popped out of you at a higher pitch than your normal tone. Were you? Really? You leaned back away- more of a sway than anything- to sit against the bed, head back on the mattress. His ceiling was pale and uninteresting.

So you were very thankful when his face came into view. Hanging just above yours. Hair everywhere. “Yes. It looks good on you.” Still a little giggly. You were, too. Couldn’t help it.

“What does it look like?” What did he see?

The tips of two of his fingers traced down the side of your face and you fought to sit still. “Pretty. With a smile. It’s nice. You look better this way.”

Better than the alternative. The other ways you’d been around him. Angry. Confused. Upset. Shouty- was shouty a look? Or- a feeling? No, right? You started laughing again. Suddenly you realized you weren’t lying back against the bed. You were lying on the floor, your head in his lap. His fingers were brushing down the side of your face over and over. “When do I get my cool kid jacket?” Smiling up at him.

He smiled back.  
It was nice. “Next week, if you want. But I gotta warn you, once you’re in you’re in for good. Ain’t no gettin’ out of this gang.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t sing.” The thought of him trying to hit that Maria dragged a ton of laughter out of you.

“I never said that, giggly lamb. I said I couldn’t go that high.” Half-offended, it sounded like.

Giggly-lamb.  
Cute.  
Were you cute to him?

You had no response save more giggling. When you watched him take another slow inhale you reached your hands up, fingers curling inwards a few times. He smiled down at you- not a smile. More of a tiny little smirk. It looked so good on him. So he bent in and you opened your lips to just briefly touch his and you breathed him in again. This was so easy.  
So good.

He didn’t stay as long as you would have liked, and a disappointed noise left with the smoke. “Is that every time? You could probably handle it by now.” You couldn’t tell if he was getting tired of it- you. Whatever.

“I like it.” Him. Being that close. The almost-sort-of-kisses.

He leaned in again with no smoke to show for it. “Oh yeah?” There was a tiny little answer that was more noise than words. You weren’t even sure what you’d said. “Why?”

“I like you.” You liked it. You liked him. What was the difference?

His hand smoothed back through your hair, sending tired sparks across your scalp. Your eyes fluttered closed, relishing in the feel. “Do you?” His voice was low and amazing.

It took a little to get your limbs to move them where you wanted to go, but you pushed yourself to sit up, following the sound of his voice- was he humming? Something sweet and quiet. You settled yourself in his lap, his arm coming around your waist lazily. You took the joint from between his fingers. “I do.” Would you even be there if you didn’t? You put it to your lips, drawing the smoke in. It was a little different direct from the source, but you could handle it.

He was smiling, a little grin with a show of a few teeth. “You gonna do me?”

That was the plan. When you’d inhaled as much as you could you leaned in to him. Watched him tilt his head up to meet you, felt the brush of his fingers at the nape of your neck. The press of your lips to his was a little more full than his had been, but you exhaled slow for him and felt the warmth of his gentle breath in. When you felt like you had him right where you wanted him you actually kissed him, and this time he didn’t pull away. Instead you felt him breathe the smoke out through his nose, something you would have had no hope of doing.

He took the joint out of your hand with very little notice, but once your hands were free they pressed against his chest. His tongue brushed yours and you felt your own moan more than you heard it. A soft rumbling wave from your throat and against his lips. Swept up in the feel of him. Wanting more. Needing more. The tingly, aching throb that pulsed in you. In your head now. Your arm came around his neck, pressing closer. He leaned back, to breathe properly, allowing you to do the same.

The hand on his chest drifted down in between the small space your hips were creating. You pressed against him and relished in the hiss and the drop of his head to your shoulder. But not quite so much when his fingers traced the inside of your wrist, a gentle push away. “Careful there, little lamb.” Warning you but with no real danger in it.

“Why?” You couldn’t stop yourself.

So you edged back just a little on his lap and awkwardly pushed your hand past the waist of his jeans. Your face exploded warmth the second you touched him. Something you’d never done- not with anyone. His head came back up, pressing against yours. His hand went to the side of your head, thumb brushing down over your cheek. “You’re playing with fire, sweetheart.”

That.  
That was dangerous. The look in his eyes. The sudden spark in those brown depths. The nicknames shifted. This one not as careful. As gentle or loving. He was warning you.

You just didn’t have enough in you. Instead you were smiling lazily at him. “Are you gonna burn me?” Murmured to him with another half press of your lips. He didn’t stop you. Thank god. You just wanted to keep feeling him. Running your hand up along that stubbly chin, back into that thick hair of his.

“I could.” This, too, was almost just a threat. Or maybe you were too muddled to believe it. He arched up into you, shrugging that ever-present jacket from his shoulders. Without it you could almost see how lanky he actually was. Just a tall stick- really- not that dangerous. How bad could he be? Then he was lifting you up, back onto the bed, and hanging over you again. “Weed doesn’t make you impulsive, you know. It’s not booze.” When he said this his eyes were half closed, grinning again in a lovingly amused fashion. Inches from your face. “Tell me this is what you want.” Whispered into your skin as he kissed the side of your neck.

Was it what you wanted? It felt good. Too good to say no to. You did like him. He was very good looking. But you- “I’ve- never...” This was a dragged sound as his teeth grazed along your skin. Then his laughter bubbled up.

“No shit.”

He knew. Of course he did. Was it that easy to tell? You’d tried to cover it with murky boldness but it hadn’t helped. Maybe he could see the heat on your face. Were you scared? Maybe you should have been. But instead you just- felt-...

“Let’s just take it slow.” Murmured right next to your ear as his hand cupped your breast through your shirt, thumb brushing up and over the suddenly sensitive peak.  
How bad could he be? Not bad at all. They didn’t know anything about him. Would someone who didn’t care take it slow? No. He’d just take what he wanted.

You lost track of his movements, feeling heavier than you realized. Sometimes you could feel his lips. Sometimes he was just absent. Same with his hands. But when one dipped down between your thighs, pressing against your jeans your eyes opened again, caught sight of him looking at you. Felt the stark difference between you- “Danny-“ Unsure.

He just smiled carefully. “Here,” Reaching down at the side of the bed, taking another hit. This was familiar enough by now. When he came back you put your hands to his cheeks, holding him there as he breathed the smoke into your lungs. And when it came back out he dipped in for a full kiss again. There was peace in this. The cloudiness. Your moan was appreciative, and less concerned the second time he touched you.

When his hands touched your hips, lifting you up, you just obeyed him. Eyes closed. Drifting. When you looked back again- when you could, your jeans were on the floor and he was staring. This blossomed what little heat there was left to have back to your face. Words were lost to you, though. You thought you felt yourself speaking- maybe you had. He was suddenly smiling to himself.

He laid down beside you, propping his head up in his palm, elbow on the bed. Then his other hand guided you to your side, close to him, and then he touched further down, pulling your leg over his hips. Widening- and his hand touched down between you again and you felt the throb of sparks. The ache. You were thankful he was so close, you could hide your face in his chest. Your slightly heightened breathing as he touched you through the last barrier of clothes he’d left you with.

The pad of his finger drew lazy long lines, up and down. You missed when skin-to-skin became a prevalent force. Only alerted when the sparks were less dull and more pleasurable as he circled, carefully still. Slow, like he’d promised. Soon your hips were moving on their own. He nudged your face up with an angle of his own but you were scared to look. When you did there wasn’t much to see. Just his face close to yours, his lips within kissing distance. “Do you wanna keep going?” His voice was of a timbre you’d never heard. It struck something deep within you.

“Yes.” Desperate, almost.

He was gone again in just another moment- the sight of him, anyway. His lips touched your ear. “How are you feeling?” This seemed like a strange question to ask.

And just before you could answer you felt him- a slow press inside. Up. Into your body. It drew a whimpering moan and your hands curled in his shirt. “I don’t know-“ This was shaking from your lips.

“Sure you do, little lamb.” Felt him retreat just as slow and then push up again.

“It’s- good-“ Something you’d never felt before. New but you were too worn to be excited. Instead you were just compliant to it. Contented. Letting your body move with the rhythm of his hand. His giggle elicited a new type of warmth.

“Good, huh?” Asked as he was brushing his lips down over your shoulder where your shirt had dipped, exposing the skin. As he pressed up with a particularly deep stroke, a different sort of flutter struck you and the noise that left was both uncontrolled and heady. “Hmm,” Kissing up the side of your face. “I’ll take that as a yes.” You didn’t know how but it felt like he was touching you everywhere.

It became overload. Too much and constant. Slow and steady. “Danny-“

“Right there?” What little was left to you might have said his voice was just the slightest bit unhinged. Waiting on you. Desperate for you, too. But all you did was answer him with another moan and he kept moving the same way. Over and over again. Your leg curved down over his, pulling him closer. One of your hands went into his hair, holding him where he was with a fist full at the back, his other still attached to his shirt.

And just like that he dragged you willingly to a place you’d never been before. But it was safe in his arms- good- had you trembling. Had you moving. Begging, even.  
_Don’t stop. God don’t ever stop._  
Like a waterfall just tumbling over you. Just hardly breaking the surface for breath. And when it was all over you barely knew where you were. The only place that mattered was that it was with him.

You fought through the feeling of bone turning to liquid to lay your leg straight back down so that you could reach forward and cup him through his pants. He laid fully back, arm still around you and you moved up instead. “Will you tell me what to do?”

His laughter this time was sharper than you remembered. “It’s a dick.” Said as he was unbuckling his pants and raising his hips to get them off. But as he revealed his entire lower half to you, your hesitance showed through. So he gently took your hand in his, “Very easy. Like this-“ In a half low hiss as he pulled your hand closer, wrapping his around yours, wrapping yours around his cock. He was hard. And pulsing. You could feel it, like the beat of his heart- or with it, you’d imagine. The head was slick, wet- you realized. But it helped as he moved your hand for you just the once, up and then back down. Then his hand fell away as his eyes fluttered closed. “Fuck-“ Breathed in with a heave of his chest.

You decided immediately that you liked that noise, so you tried to get him to do it again with a few slow pumps. It got a lot of other things out of him. Beautiful quivers. Jerks of his hips. A few hitched breaths. But not what you were looking for. So you leaned in, close like he had to you, running your lips up the shell of his ear. “Like that?”

“Fuck yes- like that-“ Every word just a little stop short. “Fu-uck-“ It was strange just how good hearing him talk like that made you feel. You kept trying to get it out of him with every pass of your hand. Until his hips just wouldn’t stop moving. His head turned to yours, “Don’t stop,” Kissing you hard, hand to the back of your neck to keep you where you were.

When your tongue brushed his that time he groaned and you felt the harder throb in your hand, and then hot, wet mess as it slid down your fingers. Surprising you enough to get you to break back with a little noise of your own. Mess didn’t really describe it, but his own reactions were much more interesting to look at, especially when you let him go, holding your hand at bay just over his thigh.

“Easy- ...see?” Half choked out as he put his hand to his forehead, grinning with his eyes closed. “Much harder to please a woman.”

His tired smile was beautiful.

He reached over to the other side of the bed, laying a box of tissues at his side. You used a few to clean up your hand while he busied himself doing much the same. Then he leaned all the way up and you put your head down instead on his pillow, feeling the drift settle in harder. He was doing something- probably with the joint he’d left out, if you thought about it for more than a few seconds.

But you were glad when he came back, pulling the covers up, cradling you close with one arm up over your back. “You still feeling okay?” He asked as you were just in between the threshold of sleep.

“Mm...” A quiet murmur of your own, hidden in his chest.

“Good.” His lips brushed your temple, a gentle little feeling that kept you there for just a few seconds more. And then you were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're still having a good time at the envelopesyou tumblr but... why not take a look and make sure for me.


	5. Chapter 5

There was knocking at the door. “Uuuh- Daaan?”

This was not your house.  
This was not anyone you knew.  
You jerked up- or at least tried, but there was an arm over your chest. And only a single noise in your ear. “Sshh...” His voice. Danny’s. “What’s up, Avi?” He sat up before asking this, raising his voice a little.

“There’s uh, dinner in the fridge.” You laid in the darkness, listening to this weird exchange. Wait- was it dark out? How long had you been asleep? “Are you and your friend ehm- okay in there?”

“We’re good. Thanks.” Said with nonchalant certainty.

Silence. For a few seconds before- “Uuuuhh.. Okay! Well- bye!” And then you heard heavy footsteps move down the end of the hall. Down further. And then the door- the front door you presumed- opened and shut. The sound of a car in the driveway- and then that was gone, too.

“Who was that?” Did Danny even live with his parents? Maybe he had roommates instead. Maybe his parents were dead. Who the hell knew?

“My dad.” No. Okay. So... he just called his parents by their first names. That was weird but just about everything having to do with him was, so. He sat up, stretching once. You could barely see anything in the darkness.

The stereo was still playing softly in the corner. You felt. Different. Strange, in a way. It wasn’t like you couldn’t remember what had happened. The memories were just a bit tingly. And they made you feel incredibly impulsive and stupid. You laid there on your side, listening to him fit back into his pants before he got up and over you and turned the light on in the room. His room.

This wasn’t your house. And it was late.  
“Can I use your phone?” There was no telling what hell would be waiting for you.

“Uh-“ He looked back once, over you, before nodding. “Sure, let me grab the cordless...” He unlocked his door and looked down the hall before leaving. So you sat up, got dressed again, and tried to imagine you didn’t feel any differently. Except that you did.

When he came back in and handed you the phone you turned away from him, walking over to the small window at the side of the room. Then you punched in the number, hitting the buttons a little harder than you meant to. Anxious. You held it up to your ear. One ring.  
Two.  
Three.  
Four-  
The answering machine picked up. You weren’t sure whether or not to be relieved about this. “Dad it’s me. I’m staying at Abbie’s for the weekend. Bye.” Then you hung up. Less time for him to grab it, if he was even awake.

When you turned back, Danny was giving his hair a good ruffle. He looked about as disoriented as you felt. Which was good. “You gonna be in trouble?”

“I don’t care.” You wished.

He came forward, staring you down. “Yes you do.” He was right. But you just weren’t that cool yet. Would you ever be? Probably not. He took the phone back. “You guys got caller ID?”

You just found yourself shaking your head. “No. He doesn’t want it.”

“Good.” Shaking it in his hand. “At least he can’t come get you.” So, it sounded like Danny was down for harboring you for the weekend.

Your arms folded, feeling uncomfortable. “Is your dad gonna be mad?” Wait- “And how did he know you had someone in here?”

He jiggled the lock on his door. “Means don’t come in, I’ve got company.” Wow. His parents were... what was the word, here? This whole situation was strange. “I can see by the look on your face privacy is a foreign concept in your household.”

You found yourself shaking your head before sitting back on the bed. “So your parents just let you do whatever you want?” Who the hell was this kid? He just cut class, smoked, smoked weed- too, took girls home and his parents didn’t care?

His laughter was soft. “Crazy, I know. Seventeen year old can live his own life.” He sat down next to you.

“The school doesn’t ever call?” They would call for you, eventually. Your only hope was that they hadn’t yet. If they had, though, wouldn’t they have told your dad who you were with? Maybe he just didn’t care enough to come get you. Knew you’d have to come home eventually. You would.

“They did but they don’t know shit about me.” His tone took that strange defensive again. You liked it a lot better when he was airy and without a care. “And my folks know that. I’m gonna graduate. I have good grades. I’m not getting chicks pregnant or doing crack.”

Your face blossomed into that weird pink and you ducked your head. Touched your hands together in your lap. “Okay. Whatever.” What more was there to say than that? God you wished things weren’t so-

“You’re acting weird, little lamb.” The pet name soothed you. But only a little. You still couldn’t look at him. When he put his hand atop yours the feeling got worse. “What’s your problem?”

What was your problem? Well. Technically you had lots. But. “You bring girls home a lot?” Of course he did. It wasn’t like you were the first. ...even if he... had been yours.

His breath out was quiet and his hand retreated away from yours to go back through his bushy hair again. “Oh, alright.” Clicking his tongue once. “Look, it’s not a big deal.” Even though you couldn’t recall him saying this recently, it felt like that’s somehow all he ever said. Maybe because that was his attitude in general. “Don’t over think it. So we got high and fooled around. Who cares?”

You did.  
Immensely.  
And that was why you couldn’t be with someone like him. You’d never be like him. Ever. You knew that. Somewhere in him he had to know that, too.

His arm came around your shoulders and you were too busy thinking about how stupid this all was to not get startled by it. But he squeezed you close. “I’m your chariot to hell, remember?” Giggling a little. Something that made you smile. Finally. You’d been so ready that day to just fuck shit up- your own life, preferably. And now there you were. And you had just been on the verge of shutting down. “Now let’s go see what dinner is.” His tone was suspect, but he didn’t leave you much room for thought.

Instead you found yourself getting up after him and following him out of his room, down the hall and into the kitchen. He bent over after opening the fridge, peering in. “Is it really okay if I stay here this weekend?” Some things still needed to be settled, and while you’d have liked nothing more than to laugh the night away with stupidity, you were sort of... stuck with him.

He pushed the fridge door closed. “Yeah.” Groaning once before running a hand back through his hair. “Alright. What’s open.... Taco Bell? Urgh..” Talking to himself, mostly. “C’mon.”

“...what’s wrong with what’s in there?” He’d just shifted gears so suddenly.

His hands came up. “I wanted something a little less Jew-y.” At the shoot upwards of both of your brows he smiled and laughed. Just a little. “Let’s get some cohorts. It’ll be fun. Promise.” Not answering your expression at all. Instead he just made you question even more what was happening.

This was one of the things you would have to become more comfortable with. Doing things just because. On the fly. And not questioning too much- because... you did trust him, right? You’d said as much a while ago. And as long as you did, you had to believe that he wasn’t going to do anything that would really hurt you. He walked away, leaving you standing in the kitchen, thinking about looking in the fridge to see what was so bad- so ... Jew-y, he’d called it. So weird. He was so weird.

When he came back and you’d made the decision it wasn’t worth looking at, he was tugging on his leather jacket and handing you a similar colored coat. Not leather, for sure, as you reached out to take it. Black denim with silver buttons and zippers all over it. “It’s gonna be chilly. So.” Shrugging lightly. It was definitely oversized on you as you slipped it on, something that got a softer smile out of him. Then he hooked his thumb towards the door.

It was pitch black outside, the streetlights either broken or inexcusably left off. The only light was the blanket of stars covering the sky. There wasn’t a lot of time to gaze. He was already settling into his side of the car so you ambled on over and sat down, pulling your seatbelt down and over to click carefully. The wash of the car’s headlights hit the pavement and soon he was backing out of the driveway and pulling out onto the road.

The night was calm, no other cars on the road- which still had you questioning what time it was. But the clock sitting just above his radio read 2:34 which you felt was far off the mark. Probably more likely that it had been off for a long time and he’d just never bothered fixing it. His fingers tapped idly against the wheel before he dropped one hand to his leg. You watched him out of the corner of your eye before deciding sitting in silence was not the best idea. “So... where is everyone in your house?” Where had his dad gone? Why was no one looking after him? Clearly he thought he had to look out for himself. How else would he have ended up the way he had?

“Working- well. My sister’s away in college. If you’re worried about getting caught or something, don’t.” Concerned with your concern.

Your head dropped, hands folding in your lap. “What should I be worried about?” You had a feeling you already knew the answer that would come out of his mouth.

“Nothing.” And that was it. Served with a wry grin, no less. His eyes diverted from the road to look at you. “You’re fine right now.” This was like a weird way of saying ‘I’ve got you’ but it was relieving in the same sense.

“What about later?” But you just couldn’t help trying to provoke something other than simple ease out of him. Didn’t he experience anything else but drifting? You just weren’t sure you could buy into that. No matter how much you really would have liked to.

He pulled down the side of a different street, driving close to the sidewalk before braking completely. His head turned all the way and he eyed you. “Are you not safe at home?” The switch was so sudden. There you’d been wondering, and here it was. Staring you in the face. His expression was the same calm it always held, but there was a darkness in his eyes that you could read even in the bleak night.

“What?” Deflection came first. “No. It’s not like that.”

His arm came to hang over the wheel as he still looked you. Studying you, it felt like. When you couldn’t take it anymore your eyes dropped completely to your lap. “You know...” Even as he started you couldn’t bring yourself to look back. “I remember this one time, in seventh period, when my pen had exploded in my pocket and ruined my shirt.” This seemed so out of left field that it did actually get you to look back up at him. “And you actually lent me that little scarf thing from your purse when the kids were saying I jacked off my pen too hard.”

The nerdy little kid in the back of your science class. You remembered whispers. Big framed glasses. A dorky smile. Short sleeved button down plaid shirts. But that was all you remembered. He, apparently, was not of the same mind. Had you done that for him? Helped him out when the kids were picking on him? Somehow the smile came back to your lips. You sort of remembered. A little. He hadn’t been crying but he’d been doing that nervous, anxious shaking thing. Laughing helplessly because what else can you do? “It’s called a handkerchief.”

It was blue. With butterflies. And it had been one of your favorites.  
Why had you forgotten that?

He shook his head, running his hand back through his frizzy hair, grinning widely. “I thought to myself that day that I was lucky I had the pretty girl from the front of the class looking out for me.” This.  
That wording.  
Pretty girl. Lucky. Front of the class.  
Was he still the same boy? He dressed differently. He walked and talked differently. He’d learned to protect himself in your absence. But this? Maybe he hadn’t changed at all.

“It’s funny how just a year can reverse the roles.” Now you were the one people were picking on and talking about. And he was the one they looked up to.

“No kidding.” Nodding before reaching forward, gliding the tips of his fingers underneath your jaw to angle your eyes back to his. “But I don’t mind.” Didn’t mind looking out for you. Helping you. Watching you. Guiding you through the rest of this bullshit. Apparently he’d somehow figured it out. He seemed to be doing pretty well, anyway.

Your face warmed a bit as his eyes stayed locked with yours and his palm came to rest on your cheek. “...thanks?” What else could you say to something like that? A look so determined and warm. A promise he was making so easily.

His smile grew into a grin, the kind that creased the edge of his eyes in a slight squint. “No problem.” Then his hand dropped and the moment was over as quick as it had come. “Now. Let’s get these idiots.” Pointing at the house he’d parked in front of. That was about all the warning you got before he opened his door and slid out, crossing the front lawn. You fumbled with your door and dropped out onto the street, trying to quietly follow behind him.

He circled around this random house to the back and the first window he came across he reached his hand up to give a sturdy couple of knocks to. You waited silently, rocking back and forth on your heels and playing with the sleeves of the jacket he’d given you. Eventually a light came on and the window opened. One of the kids from the lunch table earlier- a boy. Brown hair at chin length, a blond streak of the front. “Yo.” He reached down to clasp hands with Danny in a firm gesture before pulling back. Then his eyes went to you and he gave you a nod. “Yo to you too.”

You just waved shyly, not sure what else to do. He grinned at it before returning his attention back to Danny. “We’re heading out to Taco Bell. Wanna grab the Scuz and come with?”

“Oh. Fuck yeah. We’ll meet you there.” They clasped hands once more before the window shut again and Danny was taking your hand without thought, tugging you back around the house and to the car.

Once inside and pulled off onto the road once more, “Who was that?” You’d have to learn his friends’ names eventually.

“Arin. And he’s getting his girlfriend Suzy. They’ve been together for- like- ever.” There was some admiration in his tone. Or maybe you were just hearing things. “Since like third grade or some shit.”

That was serious dedication. And love. You wondered if you’d ever find anyone you could be that dedicated to. That would be that dedicated to you. “You have that weird clique.” Talking just to talk.

His giggle was sweet. “Weird’s a good word for it. Uh.” Waving his hand before settling it back on the wheel. “It means nothing without faces but, there’s Arin and Scuz,” You picked up the nickname this time. Did they all have one? Knowing him, probably. “Ross and Holly, another couple that’s been together forever. He came in on the exchange program- you might remember, I dunno. Holly’s the one with the pink hair.” You closed your eyes as he talked, trying to remember if you could think of their faces. The ones that had looked at you when you’d interrupted lunch only earlier that day. “Then there’s Barry and Kevin. Coolest tech nerds you’ve ever seen. They love that Macintosh shit that’s down in the lab.”

The new computers. They’d gotten them while you were away, replacing the dusty old models. The younger kids liked to play Oregon Trail on them, you’d seen. As if that was really teaching anyone anything. ...but the shooting mini-game _was_ really fun.

“We’ll hit the mall, like I said. Tomorrow or something. You’ll get to meet them.” For what? The reason escaped you at the moment. Had you asked him to take you?

The more prevalent question was something that made you fidget in your seat a little. “Are you sure?” He seemed so excited about his friends meeting you but... hadn’t they all been giving you a weird look at lunch? You didn’t fit in. You didn’t need that blaring back at you. You already knew.

Danny maybe was the same sweet boy from a couple years ago, but there was still a stark difference in worlds now. “Yeah I’m sure.” He said this like it was the easiest thing in the world. “They’re not gonna hurt you.” Tease you. Make fun of you. -well, no, they wouldn’t would they? If Danny was running things, and how silly a thought that was for sure, they wouldn’t do anything to make him mad.

Or maybe you were severely over thinking this. Maybe Danny and his friends were just a normal bunch of people who happened to dress darkly and like things that were out of the norm. “Alright.” What choice did you have in the matter?

It circled you back to the thought that you had no idea what this was. What you were to him. Notes with sarcastic ‘do you like me’ had very little to do with anything. What had happened in his bedroom should have been a big indicator- and him saying he wanted to look out for you even more so. But... you just didn’t know. And you got the feeling he didn’t want you to ask.

Most signs were turned off at whatever-time-of-the-night this was but Taco Bell reigned king, still lit. Parking lot empty, though, just two cars hanging in the back. He pulled around into the drive-thru and cranked the window down. Some staticy voice came over the box. “Yeah just a sec-“ He answered, arm hanging out the window. “What do you want?”

Not that you’d never been, but it wasn’t exactly a place you went to often. “Uh- whatever is best?” That should have been easy enough, right?

His smile said so as he turned back to the box. “Two crunchwrap supremes, two sierra mists, an uh. Two crunchy tacos, I guess.” The squawking on the box continued and Danny just, “Yeah yep yes yeah”’d to everything that was happening before pulling up to the main window. When it opened he reached for the inside pocket of his jacket and dropped a crumpled twenty dollar bill onto the counter.

Once his change was handed back to him two sodas came his way and he passed them on to you before taking the bag of food and thanking the worker without missing a beat. Then he pulled back around again to park in the middle of the lot and shut the engine off, leaving the battery on so he could turn the radio to some station you’d never heard of before. The smell of the food wasn’t fantastic or anything but it did make you realize just how hungry you were. He started picking through the bag and tossed you yours, taking his soda and setting it on the middle console.

You carefully tore open the bigger wrapper, peeling back to reveal a very unsatisfying looking ... thing. Like a flat burrito or something. His giggles were almost immediate- and you hadn’t even realized he had been watching you. “I know. I dunno why Arin loves this fuckin’ place so much.” He took a bite of his own before washing it down with a sip of soda. “It’s not that bad. I promise.” And the only thing open at this still-questionable hour.

Bringing it to your lips you took a few bites. He was write. It wasn’t terrible or anything. Beef, some lettuce and tomatoes, some sour cream, lots and lots of cheese... It’d do. The soda at least was refreshing. But also reminded you that you had not used the bathroom in hours. It was ridiculous how intense a reminder it was. Something that had you squirming in your seat all of a sudden. “D’you think it’d be okay if I went in there to use the restroom?” As politely as you could ask- as if he was the one working there.

The smirk and roll of his eyes, if you had anything to say about it, were terribly affectionate. “Yes. Just go, little lamb. Jesus.”

You unloaded your food onto the top of the dashboard and unbuckled your seatbelt a second time before getting out of the car. Everything outside was dead and quiet, the only sound close being Danny’s radio playing away in the car. Inside the restaurant didn’t exactly look inviting, but if you held it in any longer you’d probably end up peeing your pants. With that in mind you crossed the lot and went inside.

The air was the same cool temperature as it was outside and the employees at the counter looked up once before dropping their heads back down. Terribly bored. You couldn’t really blame them. It must not have been fun working the graveyard shift here. To your surprise, once you got in there, the bathroom was actually pretty clean. A nice bonus. You might have expected otherwise from the taco joint. Getting in and out was your main priority, not that you thought Danny would disappear or anything, you just didn’t want to be in here longer than necessary.

So you went and washed up your hands- going to dry them but realizing the paper towels were out. With a sigh you flicked your hands a few times before swiping them on the sides of your pants. Oh well. At least there was no pee on the seats.

Coming back out you took a moment to look at Danny jamming out in the car by himself. Something good must have come on the radio. His hands were moving up and down and he was for sure singing. You were just too far away to really hear him.

“Hey hey hey little lady-“ The voice was wholly unfamiliar, unfriendly, and approaching fast. It shocked you right out of your daydreaming about the guy in the car and snapped your attention to the side where two guys were approaching.

“Out for a little midnight snack?”

They looked straight out of a House of Pain music video. Big clothes, sideways caps- Even wearing sunglasses despite the fact that it was pitch black outside. Their sauntering stride brought them right over to you, on both sides and you tucked your arms hard at your sides. “Leave me alone.” It was unfortunate that your voice was not as hard as you would have liked it.

“I’ll give you a little midnight snack if you’re hungry, girly girl!” The one on your left grabbed his crotch and thrusted directly into you, bumping you into the other one.

“Hey!” Danny’s voice rang out strong from across the lot and the two guys stepped a little back. He slammed his car door shut and started a strong stride. You’d never seen him angry before. “Back off. _Now_.”

The two guys started laughing. “Well well well! If it isn’t _**Danny Sexbang**_!” This caught you completely off guard. Was that what people called him? What?? An arm came hard around your shoulder, shaking you. “Is this one yours?” Sense shut down. Tingles rippled across your arms, down your back, up again and into your chest. You couldn’t breathe.

“Switched off to deflowering the virgins, huh? Well. You can’t bang every slut in the school I guess!”

His eyes narrowed. “She _is_ with me.” Then his shoulders angled back. “And if you’ve got a problem we can settle it right now.”

Almost as if on cue another car pulled up into the lot, headlights spilling onto all four of you, blinding you at first. The driver’s side door opened. “We got a problem out here?” You remembered that voice.

“I dunno Arin, let me check.” Danny had started smiling, victoriously- almost a little bit viciously. “Do we got a problem?”

The passenger side door opened, and then behind it the one in the back, and then the rear door on Arin’s side. Just how many people had shown up? The guy holding you shoved you hard forward. Danny caught you before you fell, hands at your arms. But his eyes were still with them. “Oh- fuck this. We don’t needa deal with your whole crew.”

“Yeah fuck you. We’ll get you back next time.” They took off after, not exactly putting on a show of strength.

This was what you knew you should have been scared of. This was what your shitty counselor had been trying to warn you about. What was that? How many people had problems with Danny like that? And would it cause you harm? They’d almost-  
They’d almost...

Hot flashes touched at your temples and blinded your thoughts. Your hands took hold of his shirt and you leaned in against him. Fighting. Fight it. Breathe-

His arm came around your back and the other went up into your hair slowly. “It’s okay, little lamb. It’s okay...”

“Is she alright?” Arin’s voice had gotten closer.

“Did those creeps touch her?” A girl’s voice that time. You didn’t have the strength to break from him to look.

When you caught a hold of your breath you leaned back- and became a little surprised to only see two people there. Arin, you remembered now for sure- and that must have been Suzy. She was gothic culture to a T. But had a very kind smile pointed in your direction. “Weren’t... weren’t there other people?” Two other car doors had opened, had they not?

“Oh. Quick thinking on Suz’s part.” Arin’s arm came around her shoulders to give her a squeeze.

“I just opened all the doors.” Waving her hands around like it was no big deal.

Danny pointed at them. “That’s why I keep you two around.” Giggling softly after saying so. The sound, so close to your ear, soothed your fraying nerves.

“We’re gonna go get some food we’ll be back.” The only thing they said before the pair took off into the restaurant, giving you and Danny some space.

You were still childishly clutching close to him, unsure if you had the strength to step away yet. But he hadn’t let you go, either. What was the big deal, though? Had anything really happened? Had it been that bad? ...really. Who knew what would have happened if Arin hadn’t shown up? How far would Danny have gone? How far could he even go?

This wasn’t safe. He wasn’t safe.  
Maybe you’d just tried to fool yourself into thinking he was still the same but-

His hands took both sides of your face, angling your head back so that he could get a better look at you. There was nothing but concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?” His tone was quiet and slightly drawn downwards.

“I don’t know- I guess. What’s the big deal, right?” Feeling sorry for yourself wasn’t going to fix it. And what had even happened? For him this must have been a walk in the park. He was probably used to it.

His lips pressed together before he found an answer. “They had their hands all over you. I dunno how far that would have gone. It is a big deal.” The answer was surprising. Because for sure you’d have thought he could have shrugged it off. It was normal, wouldn’t he have? And to make you feel safe, too, shouldn’t he?

Instead he was telling you the truth. It put your mind a little to rest. Only because you wanted it so badly... “I’m okay.” But it came out of you in a defeated tone.

His arms enveloped your entire body in that instant, pulling you close. “I wouldn’t have let them hurt you.” You rested your head on his chest again, eyes closing. Danny would have protected you. You knew this. But the things he had to protect you from were part of his life. Not yours. ...at least this time.

But you felt safe in his embrace. Listening to him make promises. Warm. ...loved, a little. Slowly realizing why he was going to this length- scared you’d get scared off because of this. Didn’t that mean he liked you? If he didn’t want you to leave. Eventually you found yourself nodding. “I’m okay.” For now, you were. Pulled out by his efforts alone.

When he let you go and stepped back he was smiling again. “Good.” His hand found yours, fingers slipping in between the spaces of yours.

“But you’re gonna have to explain the Sexbang thing to me.” No two ways about that. You’d have to get to learn a lot more about him. But that seemed the most pressing. Especially when guys who didn’t like him were calling him by it.

His response was a grin down at you. “I’d think you already understood the implications. But we can go over it again later, if you want.” Your face blossomed red, not expecting that in the slightest. Not expecting him to wear it proudly like a badge. His giggling laughter was not too far behind before he pulled you into his arms again. “Oooh, little lamb.” Teasing you now, ruffling your hair. “We’ve got a long way to go.”

The chariot into hell had made several pitstops. At this point you’d probably never get there. But if his tone was any indication... he liked you just the way you were. And that was fine, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lag. I made this one long to try and make up for it!


	6. Chapter 6

Not a lot of sleeping went on that you could recall. Mostly because it was too hard. When it had just been you and him after... everything that you’d done, it had been so easy to slip off. Especially with his arms around you. But when his friends had come back to his place and the TV had been left on, snacks had been put out, and everyone was just chilling out, you sat mostly by yourself. You were leaned up against him, but you still felt alone. A little stranded. This was your life for the next two days. And when they all started drifting off, lying on the floor as was the case with Arin and Suzy, and his head tipped back and he dozed, you stayed awake. Watching very terrible infomercials play over and over and over on the television.

It was what led you to falling asleep just a little in the car on the drive to the mall. Then trying to stay awake as the four of you got out and meandered about in the crowds. You bumped into him several times, shoulder to shoulder. This was a mistake. That became a running monologue in your head. All of this was a mistake. That stupid counselor had been right. What were you doing here? Did you belong with these people? No. And before you’d sobered up to that realization he’d taken something important from you-

Was that right?  
No. ...no. You were just tired.

In the middle of your turmoil upon what had to be the tenth bump against him, he put his arm up over your shoulders to steady you finally. As you were learning to do, you just let it happen. Not that you had any energy in you to do much else about it. But... it was nice.

Upstairs at the food court he set you down across the other two. Suzy. Arin. You tried really hard to remember their faces and names. She was gorgeous. Dressed very well. Knew what she was doing with her makeup. You wished you could ever be that savvy. He was decent looking, you guessed. Not your sort of thing. But how could he be when you were already stuck in the mud with Danny. They had matching platinum streaks in their hair. Was that in now? You had no idea. You’d never know.

Thinking to yourself you hadn’t realized Danny had left- until he came back with a plastic bag. Sitting down next to you he ruffled its contents out and handed you a ridiculous sized can of energy drink. “Here. This’ll wake you up.” He was grinning in that usual charming way of his. The way that made you want to be compliant to it all.

So that’s what you did. You snapped the lid open and took a few sips. It was sweet and cold and refreshing. The three of them resumed talking around you for a couple of minutes. But finally Suzy took notice of your pathetic demeanor. “You okay?” Her voice was terribly gentle. She looked dangerous, but, much like Danny, she was probably very nice. This was such a weird crowd he hung out with- he was weird. It was more about appearances. Thorny outsides and colorful insides.

“I’m just tired.” You pressed a hand to your forehead, not knowing what else to say. There were multiple variables to this. So. Very. Tired.

“Those guys were fucked up.” Arin offered, sitting back in his seat all the way. “You’ll probably never see them again, though.” Like this was supposed to make you feel better. Maybe it should have. But if it wasn’t them, who next?

After taking another sip of your drink you set the can down. “Who were they?” This topic seemed unimportant last night. They were assholes who had it out for Danny for whatever reason. Probably loads of people. But apparently they were dangerous- Danny hadn’t known ‘how far it would have gone’. Just that he would have protected you. So who were these people who had the potential to really harm?

“Drop outs.” Danny scoffed this out like... like it was an insult. Like he and you didn’t skip every other day to bullshit around. You weren’t drop outs, sure, and he had said he was passing all his classes in whatever magical way he was managing that with his behavior- but...

Arin might have been able to see your frustration. “They were sharing a couple of girls last year and Dan let them know. Broke the entire situation up. That’s why they don’t like him.” The phrasing was picky here. Light and less detailed. Sharing girls. Let them know. Broke it up.

From the way the story was being told, you supposed it was meant to mean that those two dudes from last night were sleeping around with a bunch of girls who had no idea. And so when Danny found out he told them all and the girls must have decided those two were losers and stopped hanging around them. Yes. That’s the way it sounded. But what had the guys from last night said? Something about Danny banging every slut in the school?

Was it not possible that Danny slept with these girls?  
...and what business of that was yours, anyway? None. Probably.

Jealousy was an unkind feeling. Danny wasn’t yours. Your naivety with these situations was really starting to shine through. He was experienced. He had to have been with other girls. You were... maybe you were no different. Maybe he did this to everyone. Made up nicknames. Got them high. Had sex with them. And then moved on to the next. ...hadn’t that been what they’d said, too? That he’d banged every slut in the school- moving on to virgins now?

“Oh.” You forced out this ridiculously delayed response as soon as you were able. Just because they were all staring at you. Waiting for your answer.

You had to suffer through the weekend with him and then you were gone. That was what you decided. He wasn’t safe. He wasn’t right. This was too much for you. You had to get back to focusing on school so you could get into college somewhere far, far away and never look back. Danny had been a mistake. Didn’t matter if he had some sappy story about what he remembered from science class. Or that he kept your handkerchief. None of that mattered. Maybe he used to be nice. Used to.

Conversation continued around you. Eventually the sting of the energy drink found its place but it was far too long after to be of any use. When you were already back in the car and Arin and Suzy had left. Where they’d gone, you hadn’t been paying enough attention to know. None of it mattered.

“Little lamb...” He started in a wavering unsure fashion, parked in front of his house. “You need to get some sleep.” It was a couple hours after midday. But a nap did sound nice.

“Yeah.” Maybe you could just sleep all weekend. Sleep right through it. It would be easier.

Since last night he could feel you slipping through his fingers. Feel you pulling away. But nothing he had in him knew what to do about it. Mostly because he had no reference for the way he felt. He sat back in his seat, one hand still on the wheel. “You’re gonna bail, aren’t you?” His tone was entirely defeated and this finally snapped you to.

But you couldn’t look at him. Didn’t want to see the frown you could hear. “I dunno.” Your hands clutched together on your lap.

“That means yes.” It did. He was right. You already had an escape route in mind for after this weekend. He knew. It was probably written all over you. “Look- I know last night was shitty-“ This paled in comparison to how it actually had felt. “I don’t- I just-“ He couldn’t find the words and this was finally the extra oomph of humanness that you needed. He was struggling, and while it didn’t feel good to listen to it, it did feel good to know that you were important enough to struggle for. “I don’t fucking know.” But then he collapsed back into easy defeat.

Your head tilted towards the window, watching the leaves fall from the trees. You zoned out. It wasn’t fair to him but it’s what happened. Didn’t matter. He wasn’t talking, anyway. Thought about college. How far away you could manage to get. Maybe you’d move to somewhere where it was always warm. And-

“I really like you.”

Your thoughts skidded to a halt, but the last one before the mist cleared had the both of you somewhere. Away from all this. This place. Your life. Somewhere new- but with him.

He liked you? -no. _Really_ liked you.

“And. I dunno. I thought you liked me, too.”

Your lips pressed together. His tone was damnably aching. Like he’d just woken himself up from all the bullshit. Like he realized that he liked you and that you had a thing for him and now he was about to lose it. Because- because of what? Something that happened that had nothing to do with you? His past. And two guys he had no control over.

“Can you- can you please just fucking talk to me?” He didn’t sound mad, just incredibly antsy. Which was fair. You’d been sitting across from him, hands in your lap, not looking at him while he spilled some of his guts to you. You couldn’t imagine that it was easy for him to say things like that.

You had so many things inside of you. All these thoughts about who he was, what lies he was telling, what you thought he wanted you to do- but that was it. They were inside. You had given nothing to him. Just followed him around and did what he said. You were being incredibly fake with him. Or at the very least terribly unhelpful. “I don’t like what happened last night.” This sounded so very childish. But when you finally looked back at him, his expression wasn’t judgmental. Not even a ‘yeah no kidding’. He just looked... nervous. And sad.

“I don’t,” You continued, “and I know it wasn’t your fault. But I can’t help but think like. You’re so different from me. And. I don’t belong with you. I don’t know how to-“ Your hands waved around in a nonsensical gesture. “Any of this. This isn’t me.”

He was too different. Your worlds were too different. Maybe if he’d stayed the same. That sweet nerd from the back of class that got picked on- but this? Fights in parking lots at one in the morning? Leather jackets? Smoking weed? Cutting class?

He sat there. Expression unchanged. Still anxious and frowning. Perhaps hoping you’d wheel back around to something good. Hoping so hard. When your eyes leveled with his you felt bad. “I do like you- I did.” The change to past tense happened without your permission. Like you were playing a record. No stopping it now. “I do-“ You came back a second time because you couldn’t help it. “But I think I’m using you. As an escape or something. I don’t wanna go home. I don’t wanna be at school. I just ... want to be with you. But the more I’m with you the more I know we shouldn’t be together.”

Because for all the places you didn’t want to be, you knew you had to. You had to stick it out before you could actually- “You wanna run away?” You couldn’t tell if he was asking to clarify or if he was asking you to pack up your shit and bail on everything with him. And those were two vastly different entities. “Look...” His tone hitched a little as he tried to think about what he wanted to say instead of just talking wildly. “I dunno what happened to you.” Your eyes dropped from his immediately. Almost guilty.

And then he reached out, putting a hand over yours still tightly entwined. “And it’s fine if you don’t wanna tell me.” Was it, though? Was it really? “I’ll wait until you’re ready.” Here he was. Reassuring you that he was every bit that boy you vaguely remembered. Not-so-dangerous-Danny. “And I guess I’ve been pouring all this shit on you extra fast- I didn’t mean to. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” But it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. It wasn’t that you were scared of him. Or his life. It was that you were frightened into realization about how different the two of you were.

“It’s my fault.” For one reason or another this found its way out of your mouth. But it was true. “I told you that’s what I wanted. Chariot to hell or whatever. Remember?” It seemed funny then. It wasn’t very funny now.

“It’s not your fault.” His tone dropped an octave lower and much softer, thumb brushing the inside of your wrist once he untangled your hands. “You just got back from whatever shit happened to you. You think I don’t know I was going too fast? You think I’m not just as responsible for my own actions?”

You watched his fingers move, smoothing up the inside of your palm, uncurling your fingers. That helpless sense of need filled you all too easily. You wanted him to make it better. When he talked to you this way that’s all you ever wanted. Someone to hold on to. To protect you. “....I really like you, too.”

You did. And there was no going back.

His other hand came in, touching the side of your face carefully. Your head moved back up, tilting into his palm, looking at him again. “Then **fuck** everything else, alright?” He said it like it was so easy. For him it might have been. For you..? “Whatever happened to you is whatever. And whatever shit going on at school is whatever too.” His adjective usage was so very beautiful. “It’s all garbage- and I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you. And if I’m doing something you don’t like all you gotta do is say. Okay?”

But there was the problem.  
He took you like this, looked at you like this, smiled at you when he was trying to get you to do something and all you could do was nod dumbly and regret it later. You had to have the strength... but he was taking it all away from you.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.” These words from his lips were like a soothing balm over a fresh wound. Took the sting right out. “I like you the way you are. I like that you’re my little lamb.”

His.  
His little lamb.

The conversation was over. All because he called you his. But he was waiting for affirmation. To know that you were okay with this. And... “Okay.” You were. Terribly so.

Just because he looked at you with those deep, dark brown eyes of his. Just because he said you belonged to him. So you did. And when he leaned in to press his lips to yours you melted against him. Clutched at his jacket. Wanted to keep him there forever.

Wanted to be _his_ , forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing dumb angsty teens continues to be difficult. But hey. Come hang out on the EnvelopesYou tumblr for stuff and things.


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

 

Getting school next monday, your head was full of buzzing. The night before you’d had Danny drop you off two blocks away from the house just to be safe. He’d given you that same suspicious yet concerned look he always wore when it came to the subject of your house- or the people in it. But you’d just waved him off, awkwardly waited in a lurch for a moment... thinking about.. should you kiss him goodbye? Should he kiss you? When nothing happened you just hurriedly told him you’d see him tomorrow and got out. He waited on the road, headlights spilling past you. You felt him watching you. Probably just making sure you got home okay. When you turned into your driveway you heard his car moving and he drove past the house, rolling slowly just for a moment, and you waved. You couldn’t see him but you imagined he waved back. Then he was gone.

And you were home. 

It was very unfortunate for you that your father was not asleep. Very, _very_ unfortunate. There was only one saving grace. And that was that if you could prove this **Abbie** was real, if you could get her parents to talk to him, there wouldn’t be any _trouble_. But he didn’t really believe you. If he found out you’d spent the weekend at a boy’s house- worse yet.. what you’d really been up to for the past couple weeks.....

You’d just quickly gone to your room and said you’d have her parents call him. 

That was when you knew you were utterly and completely fucked. 

There was no Abbie. Made up Abbie had no parents to talk to him. You couldn’t think of a single person that would be able to pull off talking to him like that. None of your new friends. Certainly not Danny. And you couldn’t.. couldn’t tell him about it anyway. That was what you decided as you rode the bus to school in the chilly weather. Had forgotten your jacket in the middle of the haze. Not sleeping well the night before. Finding it almost impossible with ... without Danny, now. Woke up. Took a shower. Didn’t have enough time to dry your hair. Ran out in the biting winds with just a long sleeve shirt on. Almost missed the bus. Ignored the stares, or at least tried, as you sat all the way in the back. 

Was this really worth all the trouble? 

_I really like you.  
_

His voice floated in and out of your ears. Yes. Yes it was worth it. 

When the bus pulled up to the school, you looked for him but he wasn’t standing out front. Strange. He and the rest of his crew usually liked to meander about outside before the first bell. Regardless, it was too cold to wait outside for him, so you just went inside. Lingered in the halls trying to find him, but he seemed to be nowhere. Maybe he didn’t feel like coming to school today? 

The thought sunk your heart deep down into the pit of your stomach. He was almost the only thing that made coming to school worth it. And now he was gone. You just shook your head, going to your locker, hands shaking as you tried to work the lock open. It grew worse when you realized there were a few girls at the end of the hall. Staring at you. Talking about you, no doubt. Giggling about something. When you finally pulled the lock open you shoved a few books in as quick as you could. They were approaching. 

The shaking grew worse. You pulled one notebook out and tossed it in your pack, not even bothering to zip it up, slamming the locker closed and pressing the lock up. 

“ _Hey.”_ In that catty tone that promised trouble. 

You turned your back towards them and tried to walk away confidently. 

“ _We’re talking to you, you dirty slut!”  
_

“ _So Dan’s moved on to trashbags, huh?”_

The giggling resumed. They traded insults back and forth loudly with each other. Something about your hair being all tangled and gross. Your shirt being stained. Your pants being baggy. No shape. What did Dan see in you. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize one- or maybe _all_ of them were his exes. Trying to start trouble. 

You couldn’t concentrate in english class. The teacher was going over some book. Some chapters you hadn’t read. Your attention waned in and out. Tired. So tired. 

You couldn’t concentrate in math. Something about some formula you hadn’t memorized yet. It’d be on an important test. No notes allowed. Anxious. So anxious. 

You couldn’t concentrate in science. Dos and don’ts of mixing compounds. You wanted out of this class. What a waste of time. 

Couldn’t concentrate in health. The teacher talked about how stress can very negatively impact students. Can crush them right into the transition between now and college. Tried to discuss healthy ways to circumvent the feelings. 

Maybe you should have paid attention. 

The bell before lunch you found yourself in the girl’s bathroom. Right near the cafeteria. Your safest bet would have been the one on the second floor but you just couldn’t get your legs to carry you there. You waited in the stall for a moment, just sitting on the closed lid of the toilet seat. Looked at your notebook. Saw his name scribbled everywhere. In the corners. The margins. No notes to speak of. 

Giggling came in.   
The door closed behind it. 

“We know you’re in there.” 

Quickly you closed your notebook. Couldn’t give them more ammo. ...would they come in the stall? It was locked. They couldn’t- so- 

“Just come out already.” One of them banged their hand against the door, rattling the thin metal keeping the door shut. 

Stay? You could stay. They wouldn’t come in. Eventually they’d leave.   
What would Danny do? What _had_ Danny done, when problems had confronted him? He’d stood up. 

You pressed your lips together, feeling the shaking coming back through your arms as you clutched your notebook to your chest and pulled the lock free, pulling the door open and walking past them to the sink. They followed you in a cloud, surrounding you. 

Pushing you. “He doesn’t really like you, you know.” The redhead was saying. 

“He’s just trying to get back at me.” The one with blonde hair was telling you as you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. You were no Danny. You were not strong. “We dated for like- a really long time- you know? And then like- he caught me with Mike- so.. like... it’s whatever. He just wants to shove you in my face. He’s _using you.”  
_

One of them pulled at your hair. “You don’t think he could really like you, right? I mean, look at Kelly. And look at **you**. Gross.” 

They took your notebook out of your hands and threw it into a sink, turning the faucet on. “I bet he didn’t even ask you to the homecoming game.“ 

He hadn’t. This was true. 

“Are you gonna like- say something? Or what?” Pushing you again. 

Your eyes stuck to the floor. “Just leave me alone.” You forced your voice out. 

“Stay away from him and we will.” 

The only way they’d leave you alone. The only option they were giving you. You couldn’t find peace at home, because of him. You couldn’t get along at school, because of him. 

...but when you were with him none of that mattered. 

_You wanna run away?  
_

Yes.   
Please... take me away.. 

“Leave me alone! He doesn’t like you- he likes me!” You turned your head up, trying to eye the one who was the leader. The one who Dan used to date. Whatever her name was. “Just get over it already, you’re being pathetic!” 

Her overly thin eyebrows shot up. “Uh- excuse me?? _You_ don’t talk to _me_ like that!” She reached for you, cherry-red nails bared. Maybe she wanted to scratch you. Maybe she wanted to pull your hair. You ducked in just enough time to not find out. Grabbed your drenched notebook from the sink and bolted out the door. 

“Get back here you fucking- you pussy!”  
“She’s scared!”   
“Don’t be a fucking wuss!” 

They were coming out after you, probably just to threaten you more. They might not risk actually getting confrontational with you where hall monitors could see it. But none of that mattered- 

You saw Danny standing by the cafeteria doors, hands in his pockets. Looking down the opposite end of the hall. _Looking for you._ At least that’s what your heart told you. And you did the only thing that made sense. You ran to him. 

He caught you by the shoulders as you skidded to a stop in front of him. “Whoa! Jesus christ- what’s the matter??” Eyes full of worry as he looked down at you. When you said nothing he looked up in the direction you’d came. Probably saw the girls standing there in a circle. 

You chanced looking up at him then. Saw the narrow of his eyes. The thin of his lips. “I’m sorry-” Always running to him. This was his world, still. His world causing problems for you. Again. Over and over. And yet all you could do was keep on apologizing. Being sorry that you couldn’t get on his level. Stand strong, like him. 

“They’re bothering you?” His tone dropped but strung itself tight. When his eyes came away from them and back to you, you nodded. “I’m sorry.” His hands reached up, cupping your cheeks and you felt the trembles fade. Lost in him again. The only thing that felt good anymore. He leaned in and your eyes lost sight of him as they closed. Felt him press a careful kiss to your lips.

Doing it on purpose. In full view of those girls. Those now angrily huffing girls. Reaching for something to say. They settled on half-hearted spits of ‘gross’ and ‘ew’. But none of that mattered. 

His arm came around your shoulders as he leaned back. “C’mon.” Warm, just a little brush of his nose against yours- something for you. And not for them. He led you into the cafeteria. To his table in the back corner where all his friends were already sitting. 

He let you sit on the bench first before settling down next to you. Your eyes stayed on the top of the table, torn between- so.. _so_ many things. Too much for you. Overwhelmed. You were so overwhelmed. “You okay?” One of his friends was speaking to you. You weren’t sure which. Not looking. 

You just shrugged. Tried to be everything you weren’t be. “Kelly and them cornered her in the bathroom.” Danny spoke for you. 

“Oh.” This came out of several mouths. You still weren’t looking. 

“She must want you back.” This was one of the girls. 

“I don’t give a fuck.” 

“Hey, did she do that to your notebook?” The water-logged book still clutched to your chest, soaking through your shirt. 

“Shit, I didn’t even-” 

Too many people. Too many things being said. It was all crashing in on you. They kept talking but it faded out. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. A high pitched ring sang in your ears. You hyper focused on every little fleck of gray on the white tabletop. Curled more in on yourself. 

Trapped. You were trapped in his world.   
You didn’t belong.   
Couldn’t handle it. 

“Little lamb.” 

Tugging at you like he had rope wrapped around you. You looked up. “What-? Sorry- I-” 

“Are you cold?” The question seemed so out of place. But because he asked it you realized how hard you were shaking. His eyes stayed with you. Kind and soft. 

“I left my jacket at home.” The only thing you could think to say. The only thing that stood a chance to making sense. At least you thought so. But when he arched his brow you felt bad for offering that as an excuse. 

Then the corner of his lip quirked in a gentle smile. Something... you wanted to call it fond.. that he was _fond_ of you. Maybe... “As it just so happens, I have one for you.” 

The- the leather jacket? Something about this was so absurd- maybe the way he was grinning. How pleased with himself he looked. Finally some of that anxiety melted away. Your shaking subsided. “Really?” He’d remembered. Maybe that’s where he’d been this morning. 

“Yeah. Really.” That grin on his face really did look so very handsome. Everything else faded into background noise. “It’s at my place, though. So-” 

“Can we go?” 

God. Please. _Take me away._ The first chance you got. That’s what you did. Every time. As soon as he gave you the opportunity. You might not ever be able to turn it down. 

His head turned back to the rest of the crew. “You guys good here?” 

They waved, smiles- almost understandingly so- aimed at the both of you. “We’re good man. You go. We got ya.” Ah. _Ah-hah_. So. They covered for him when he bailed. Things were starting to add up. Slowly. Slowly things were starting to make sense. 

His hand took hold of yours, fingers slipping between yours. “Let’s go, little lamb.” 

You stood out from the bench, giving his friends a wave. “Bye, guys.” 

They all waved back cheerily, offered you a little farewell in return. Then Dan led you by the hand out of the cafeteria. Looked both ways down the hall before crossing over towards the exit. Once you left the school things felt good again. Normal. This _new_ normal. The one that felt better than anything you could remember before. 

As he started up his car you leaned over, resting your head against his shoulder. Eyes closed. Felt like you could slip away at any moment. Safe with him. He pulled out of the parking lot. “I’m sorry they were bothering you.” Still apologetic. He might always be- because he didn’t want bad things to happen to you. Yet they _kept_ on happening- _because_ of him. 

“It’s okay.” The only thing you could think to say. 

A sigh left him. “It’s not.” 

This made you feel bad. So you thought of something else- something better. “I called her pathetic.” Tried to paint the picture that you’d stood up to her. That you were tough. Like him. Could fight your own battles. Even when they were his battles. You’d fight them for him.. if you had to- if you could... 

His giggles surprised you. “Shit- really? That’s awesome.” He sounded so pleased. It made you feel good. But the moment passed all too quickly. “..are you okay though? You were pretty rough at the table...” 

Here, just with him, not in front of all those other eyes, you knew you could be truthful. “I’m just having a tough time.” Before he could take this as another reason to feel guilty, you tried to hook him back in, in a better way. “I think I need to relax.” 

“ _Oh.”_ You couldn’t see his grin, still leaned against his shoulder, but you could damn well hear it. “I got just the thing.” You knew he did. You absolutely knew he did. 

And you wanted it more than anything else-   
Well.  
Not more than him. 

But you’d get both.   
_Oh._ You’d get **both**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me at the envelopesyou tumblr! Also ... I think we all know what's coming up next, right?


	8. Chapter 8

It started raining on the short drive back. All you remembered was that it had been freezing that morning- cold enough that you felt like it should be snowing. Either way, the sky was dark and gray, rain pounding on the windshield. You felt the nervousness all over again. Like this was the first time he’d taken you back to his house- …in reality it really was only the _second_ time. This time you knew what you were getting into a little better. But only a _little_. But it was what you knew that was what made you want it so bad.  
  
Want him so bad.  
  
Want _it_ so bad. When you’d been with him that day, only just a few okay, you’d felt so much better. Nothing else had mattered. Not the trouble that it had caused- which was a fair amount- and you **didn’t** want to think about that now. No. You just wanted that feeling again. Warm and welcome and happy. Something that had felt so far out of your reach for an unfair amount of time.  
  
And Danny was only too willing to give it to you, so why think twice? Those girls at school didn’t matter. Your dad didn’t matter. Grades didn’t matter. Danny mattered. You mattered. That was it.  
  
When he pulled up into his driveway, you pushed all the other feelings aside and grabbed hold of the steadfast building giddiness. For once in your life you had something that made you _excited_. Was that bad? It couldn’t be. Couldn’t possibly. As soon as he got out of the car you did the same, bolting to his side, his arm coming up around your shoulders and quickly trying to lead you up the walkway and into his house.  
  
Same as you remembered. In fact it almost looked entirely untouched. Whether or not his parents had ever come home- you couldn’t even remember. You’d been in such a daze that weekend. In and out and with other people. That didn’t matter, either. Something he seemed to think as well, leading you by the hand then, upstairs and to his bedroom. Pulling you in. Locking the door behind you. All things that pinged your sense of familiarity.  
  
“Wait.” He commanded you softly, holding up a hand. Telling you to stay right where you were. This was different. Before, the first time you’d seen his room, you’d felt a little awkward. Not sure where to sit before deciding on the floor. Now you stood in place, hands held in front of you, lips pressed together as you did exactly as he asked. Waited as he went to his closet and pulled out a slim looking black leather jacket. Definitely your size. “Here.” He tugged it off the hanger, holding it out to you with only the sweetest of smiles.  
  
Proud of himself. Happy with it. Hoping you’d be happy too.  
Stars went off. Fireworks.  
  
He’d gotten you something. _He’d_ gotten _you_ something. The something he’d promised. Sure it had been stupid and silly, and really part of you hadn’t even expected him to do it- but there it was. All yours.  
  
You took it from him, unzipping the front slowly, and then you carefully tugged it on over your shoulders and slipped your arms through. Without waiting he came forward, tossing the hanger to the floor with a little clatter, putting his hands on the lapels, pulling them just a little to straighten them out. It fit nicely. Not too big, like his would be on you. “How do I look?” Looking up at him as you asked, smiling in what felt like an entirely too wide manner.  
  
Something that seemed to catch up with him as his eyes caught yours and he stared for a moment before busting out in a rumbling batch of giggles. This sent your spirits crashing right back down. “Oh- man…” Shaking his head, running his hands back through his hair. “You look…” Trying to find the right words. None of them must have been good. Suddenly you felt very stupid. “I mean- good. You look good. Just. You looked up at me with those big innocent eyes of yours and it just- I dunno. God.” The images clashed. You got what he was saying.  
  
This was like a redo in his car. When you said you wanted to be bad- that you had it in you. And he just _laughed_. Because you didn’t. You knew it. He knew it. And you pretending otherwise just looked silly. Like you must have looked right now.  Would there always be this vast expanse between the two of you? Probably. You knew you’d never be able to wear this outer shell like he did. Pretend- …like he did.  
  
“Whatever.” The only thing you could think to say. You didn’t care, right? That’s what made people cool. Not caring. Even when you did. Immensely so.  
  
He reached up, cupping your cheek in his palm, angling your gaze that had dove to the floor back up to his. Instantly that warm blossom unfurled in your chest. “Hey- I’m not… I’m not laughing _at_ you. Not like that.” Trying to explain himself where he’d seen that he’d upset you. “You’re just-” Dumb. Stupid. Lying to yourself. “Cute.”  
  
Your face burned. _Cute_. He thought you were **cute**. “I-” You really wished you knew what to say to that. ‘No’ felt like the proper response. You weren’t cute. You didn’t know why he would say something like that. It’s certainly not what you saw when you looked in the mirror in the morning. But…  
  
He thought you were. His smile eased warmly as he leaned in closer. “You are. I’ve always thought that. Even when I was too chicken to talk to you.” He must have been talking about in science. When both of you had been in much different positions. “And when you looked up at me just now- wearing that sick leather jacket but with your cute smile and your big eyes I just laughed. Because you’re too cute for your own good.”  
  
He was being awful. Like seriously awful. Trying too hard, maybe- or maybe that’s what you would have thought if he wasn’t smiling at you the way that he was. Or if he hadn’t treated you the way he had. But the problem was if this was what he thought, how could you ever fit in?  
  
…but maybe you’d already had that answer. You weren’t ever going to be like him. He thought it was funny that you were trying so hard. Laughed every so often. But he liked you as his-  
  
“Little lamb.”  
  
Thumb brushing your cheek as he leaned in. You could feel him against you, draping his body against yours as you leaned back against the wall for stability. “Danny?” You didn’t have a nickname for him. And you weren’t sure what he was up to.  
  
His eyes lowered and he leaned in. Your hands reached up almost reflexively, touching over the front of his jacket. “Can I kiss you?”  
  
This seemed like the dumbest thing for him to be asking. You couldn’t understand it. You two had gone so much further than kissing. Why now was he asking permission? “Why?” He was already in your space. Tips of his fingers sliding down your jawline. Eyes more than half closed but still watching you.  
  
“Because I want to.” There was a twinge of desperation in this. Like he needed nothing else save that.  
  
You wanted to let him. Wanted about a million more other things than just a simple kiss. Should have let him. Instead, “No- why are you asking me?” It made no sense.  
  
His lips curved again into another gentle smile. “When we fooled around before-” Memories of that came flooding back in. Making you warm all over. Making you burn with need so suddenly. You tipped up and he barely brushed his lips with yours. Then still kept speaking. “We were both high. And I kinda just… wanted to make sure..” Losing his thoughts as you slipped your hands in past his jacket, touching down over his chest, pressing up into him.  
  
Still new to all of this, but he got it out of you so easily. You wanted him bad. Wanted him to do every single thing he wanted to do to you. Followed his rhythm when you didn’t know what to do. Did what felt good. You went up just the little few inches left, sealing your lips to his, eyes dropping closed. He pressed you further back, free arm sliding up along the wall at the side of your head while the hand on your cheek disappeared back through your hair.  
  
Without his own prompting, instead leading _him_ for a change, you tilted your head. Parted your lips. Brushed his tongue with yours. Made him groan softly, something that sparked just every single part of you on fire. And when you backed away he followed you, desperately so. Not wanting it to be over. But you reached your hand up, tips of your fingers tracing along his stubble. His eyes blinked open, half foggy as he looked at you. Still so close. “Am I still cute?” You could run with him. Could do the things that he did.  
  
His smile answered for him first. “Incredibly.”  
  
This sent a lash of frustration straight through you. Your eyebrows knit, trying to come up with an answer that he may not have realized had a question before it. Bringing your hand down along his face, over his neck, beckoning him closer, kissing him again just briefly before sliding your hand all the way down. Cupping against him. Feeling how hard he already was through his jeans. He groaned against your lips, arching into your palm. “What about now?” Asked as darkly as you could manage. You could do this. Could make it work.  
  
“You can be-“ Taking a breath to steady himself as he looked at you again. Gaze darkened a fraction, clouded with obvious arousal. “-you can be cute and sexy at the same time, you know.” Just that alone had your cheeks lighting pink again. Sexy. Were you sexy? You didn’t really think so. And- regardless.. that wasn’t the word you were after. Come to think of it, you weren’t really sure _what_ word you wanted to hear him call you.  
  
All of this spinning in your head, grinding the gears, making it harder to fall into it with him. You wanted to. Desperately. But you always found yourself falling at the wayside of his long strides. Just didn’t fit in. You needed it all to stop. “Can we- can we smoke again?” That would make it all hush. Drown it all out so that you could just feel him and nothing else.  
  
Something in his eyes changed then, a curious and almost painful look directed at you. He tilted in again, quieting you all on his own without the additive, kissing you gently. You were eager enough to just give in. Allow everything else to crumble. For now, at least. When he backed away next you found your breathing heavier. “We can but-“ Answering you finally as his left hand skimmed your cheek, directing your face to tilt up to meet him again. “You’re not like- using me for weed or something- are you?”  
  
There was an immediate absurdity to this that had your features twisting in upset. That he would even think that. But then a wash of other realizations came over you. You weren’t using him for drugs, no. But you were using him for something else. Guilt trickled in a hot flash. “No-“ Protesting, at the very least, the first part. “I just- I wanna be like you. I want to be with you. And I get so wrapped up in everything else-“ Trying to make it all work. Trying to be honest because, at least if no one else in the entire world, Danny deserved your honesty. “It made me feel good.” Calm. At ease. Just with him. Not having to worry about anything else.  
  
His smile came back, finally, thank god, and you felt better for it. “You’re sure that’s not just me?” For a moment you couldn’t tell how much of this may have been joking. Possibly none at all. And... maybe he deserved that.  
  
Your hands smoothed up his chest again, curling lightly in his t-shirt. “It _is_ you.” Almost begging him to understand. “But I’m not enough.” He’d laughed at you. So many times now. You just weren’t enough. At least when you smoked together he hadn’t-  
  
“Little lamb...” Tone curving downward as his hands slid from the wall, moving to cup over your hips. “I dunno who told you that but they were lying.” He may have been assuming the girls bullying you in the bathroom had carried this far. He wouldn’t have been wrong, but in this instance...  
  
“No one needed to tell me.” Regardless that many had. You could see it. Feel it. The mountains of distance between the both of you. Tears threatened to well in your eyes, feeling remarkably pathetic so suddenly. Wanting to run. Be anywhere but at the mercy of his understanding eyes.  
  
He waited for a long few beats of silence, just watching you. Frowning at you. Maybe unsure what to do to settle the heartache. Then, when he finally came to some sort of agreement with himself, his hands took yours, leading you from the wall and over to the edge of the bed. You sat for him as he pulled you down and then waited nervously when he turned away. Went to the speakers in the corner of his room. Set some music quietly rumbling on. Went into the cabinet in the back and pulled out that box.  
  
Only a handful of days ago you repeated this same scenario. Then you’d felt anxious. Now you felt needy for it. Happy that he was obliging you. He came back over, sitting next to you, humming to whatever was playing on his stereo as he picked out a joint and then left the box to the floor, pressing it just a little underneath his bed. He reached into his jacket again for the lighter, setting the tip ablaze just enough to spark and then took a long, slow drag. Almost automatically you tilted your head up, expecting him to move down to meet you.  
  
Instead he let the smoke out even slower, exhaling it all, looking over with an arch of his brow as your shoulders dropped in defeat. He offered it to you. “It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”  
  
That innocent question, completely so, pushed your realization that it wasn’t. It wasn’t just the weed. It _was_ him. But did all the cool kids get cozy with each other smoking? You doubted it. And you could handle it now. This wasn’t your first time. ....didn’t matter that you had no right to be emboldened as it was only your **second**. You could prove anything to him. “Yeah-“ Reaching up to take it, unaware how long it had taken you to come to that conclusion.  
  
He yanked it out of your reach with a knowing but charmingly lazy smile on his lips. “Liar.” A thousand protests were ready to spew out of you and they all just about died as he took another long drag and then eased in closer to you without another word. Everything else ceased to matter in that moment as your hands reached up to cup his cheeks, keeping him there as his lips brushed over yours, parting equally, and breathed out that thick smoke for you to drink right up.  
  
Your hands slipped back into his hair, almost scared to let him go too far, even as he tilted left to let you breathe it all back out. And once you had he laid a hand to your shoulder, directing you down on your back against the bed. Then without the next promise of smoke he kissed you anyway, sending a spiral of dizziness through you that had nothing to do with drugs. Your leg arched up, bent at the knee, allowing him to drape closer over you, his hand against the bed, other still holding the joint as he kissed you senseless.  
  
And just when you couldn’t breathe he backed up again, raising it to his lips to breathe in another long few seconds and then wasted no time coming back to you. Only this time when he exhaled against your lips you found yourself shuddering, reaching up to clutch at his jacket. Drowning in him. You’d already lost track of time. Track of the inhale- the exhale- the kiss- because when he spoke next he startled you. “You okay?”  
  
Just the overwhelming break in the dam of things you held, getting lost so easy with him. Your eyes fluttered open, blinking twice in order to get him in view. He was looking down at you softly, brow arched lightly. “Yeah.. I...“ Answer muddied, losing focus as the seconds ticked on.  
  
“I’ve got you.” Reassuringly warm as he dipped in again, kissing you. Something that either lasted too long or too short. You were already just gone enough not to be able to tell. The only break in your realization came when he edged away again, took another hit, and then imparted that sweet burn to you all over again, this time with a brush of his tongue against yours after.  
  
It felt as if you were pooling into the bed, into every crevice in his sheet, damnably warm and comfortable with his weight atop you. Your fingers became less nimble but still sure of what they wanted as you tried to push his jacket off his shoulders, something he gave into a moment later, rolling his shoulders back as he sat up, shrugging it off. He came back soon, helping you out of your own-  
  
Your jacket. That new crisp leather with its fresh smell. Something he’d bought for you. For no reason other than that he said he would- because he wanted to- wanted you to have it. Your nerves dulled and then washed over in lights in just another moment when you realized he’d not only gotten you out of your jacket, but out of your shirt as well. His lips were just as careful and kind as ever as they skimmed down your collarbone and further still over your breast. Tip of his tongue still sly with expertise as it teased over top in a round circle.  
  
The music carried him, just like it did you, making it that much easier when he unbuttoned your jeans and slid them down the length of your legs. Slow. So slow- or was it him? You couldn’t tell. And as his stubble brushed the inside of your thigh a giggle worked up from you, the scratchy light feeling coercing a shift of your hips. When you couldn’t seem to can any of it up after a few moments he looked up, smiling all the same, his own warm sound of mirth echoing yours.  
  
He eased up again, sitting back on his knees as he discarded his t-shirt. When he moved back in your hands trailed up his stomach and over his chest. Feeling comfortable and at peace with him like this. Heady heaviness settling in your bones. Almost like you couldn’t move. “You’re pretty gone...” Hearing his amusement before realizing he was kissing the side of your neck, dull sparks there. “One more, though?”  
  
Pretty gone. Pretty _far_ gone. These words echoed in your head until you were sure you were testing them out on your lips just to try and make them make sense. And then his question came into focus, though waned out quickly after. “Yeah, please Danny...” Begging him almost. One more? One more _anything_. As long as he was the one giving it.  
  
The presses of his lips turned into a slow drag up the line of your jaw and to your temple, and from there you felt the vibrations of a groan. “Say my name again like that...”  
  
Whatever coherency that was left to you focused in all the way on him telling you to do something. And then what that something was. What had you said? You couldn’t even remember. The idea that you’d lost the words out of your mouth from only seconds ago encouraged another airy giggle that he immediately mirrored. “What did- what was it?” But you so desperately wanted to please him- Oh! That was it.  
  
Bringing your hands up to wind back through his hair you helped him in lower, leaning up into him, lips brushing the shell of his ear. “ _Please_ , Danny...” Breathing them out on a moan for him. As he shivered atop you, hips pressing down into yours so suddenly, yours rolling back, you realized you’d do anything for him.  
  
Anything he asked. Anything he told you.  
  
When he got a hold of himself he reached out over the side of the bed and you moved to look where he was going; taking the joint already almost completely gone- how had that happened?- from an ashtray that you were sure hadn’t been there the entire time. You felt yourself speak more than heard it- _was_ that always there?- words alight in giggles as he looked at you. His smile curved wide in an affectionate manner, nodding a few times, and then losing himself to a comfortable sway of his head. -to the music, it took you a second to realize.  
  
He took another drag and kept this one for himself, but you didn’t mind. Watching him move. The lines of his body fulfilling every part of you for no reason at all. He was just _satisfying_ to watch. Without your permission, your hands moved- or at least you just maybe didn’t notice it until they were on him again. Touching over his hips, unbuttoning his jeans and leading them down if only so you could watch him dance more fully. More completely- it made sense at the time. But when the word, “Baby,” tumbled from his lips, you understood you’d gone a touch too far.  
  
More so when his dancing stopped. When you’d pulled his boxers down far enough, fingers stroking over his cock. His head fell back and he seemed content in that moment to just ride your hand, hips shifting up as you squeezed down the length of him and then back up. Fire steeped into you one drip at a time. That sense of need, though no longer urgent, came back tenfold.  
  
He was gorgeous. Utterly and completely so. Spellbinding. Especially as he took another long hit of the joint, releasing the smoke out in a swirl while he still rocked up through your palm. Somehow still in beat with the music, curls falling just over his eyes as his head lolled to the side, looking down at you.  
  
“You’re so gorgeous.” For a moment you were utterly certain that you’d said this. After all, you’d been thinking it mere seconds ago. But you watched the words stick on his lips as they moved. Heard the rolling timbre of his voice.  
  
Pink dusted new over your cheeks. “No...” A wimpy protest that got another handsomely half-lidded smile out of him. “Really..” Weakly trying to persuade him, giggles finding you again.  
  
His hand covered yours, stopping your touches. Then he lowered in again, lips brushing the side of your face and then to your ear. “My little giggly lamb... you’re beautiful.. so fucking beautiful...” The words came in a musical lilt; singing to you. He was singing to you... But the melody stopped, something you found yourself whining at, something you heard him laughing towards, before he took another long inhale of the joint, finally leaving it back to the side of the bed, and met with you again. Lips pressed flush against yours, sharing every single part of himself with you in that moment.  
  
Almost more so than you could handle, as you breathed in, and then shifted your hips up at the insistence of his newly free hand. Feeling the slickness of his glide gently over your clit. Back and forth in a dizzying and tortuous pleasure. As you breathed out you knew you were begging. _More, more **more** -_ “Please, Danny... more..” Hearing the last through the fog. Wanting him inside of you. Needing him.  
  
His teeth grazed over the juncture of your shoulder, sending more of that pleasurable ache through you. “Easy, little lamb... we’ve got all the time in the world..” These words tipped your coherency. Knew he was telling you that you weren’t ready. The ghost of feeling grateful and upset all at once as you reached up the length of his chest again before looping your arms around his shoulders. Letting him rock you back into the bed in such a simple way. Kissed you. Left little tiny red blossoms along your skin. Touched you all over until you were right at that brink, still begging him, encouraged by the warm notes of his voice. Tugging you over into that haze again.  
  
Breath catching in the back of your throat as your hands pressed to his shoulders, trying desperately to keep him right where he was as he touched over your clit again and then slid lower, just lightly gliding against you without easing in and that was enough. More than enough to shock you over that edge, bucking up into him with a warm lull of a moan.  
  
Something he answered in his own rumbling way, leaning up just a fraction, touching himself you realized. And once you had that notion, you retraced his steps from earlier. Leading his hands away so you could do it instead. Watched the warmth of pleasure take hold on his features as his eyes rolled back, as he drew his lower lip between his teeth and rocked up hard into your hands. “Oh little lamb...” Shakily from him like he just couldn’t control himself anymore. “I’m go- I’m fucking gonna..” Not needing much more of a hint than that. Not when his body did the rest of the talking for him.  
  
He came in a few hot streaks right across your stomach and chest, senses too dulled at the moment to be surprised by it; instead warmed and infinitely eased by the feeling. By the sounds tumbling out of him as he rocked his hips up a few more times in an uneven line before his hands touched over yours to stop you from moving. So you moved them up, sliding along his hips and to the small of his back, encouraging him to lean in again. When he did you drew a breath into your lungs, tilting your head up to meet him in a kiss that just seemed to drag on forever.  
  
You only knew it was over by the sense of displeasure when his lips left yours. When he left you entirely to go do something else- loneliness dragging in like the tide until he came back, sitting on the edge of the bed again with a few sways beforehand. Then he dipped a warm cloth over you and you settled for looking up at him as he wiped it all away. Your hands found his again, fingers stroking up the backs, eyes locking with his. Sharing a smile.  
  
In just another moment he laid down again, on his side, pulling you on yours, hand sliding over your shoulder and to your back. Sleep was close at hand. Drifting comfortably. Pleasurably. Music still thrumming through every pore of your body. “Danny...” But there was just one thing. Why you remembered now you couldn’t quite say. Maybe finally being so at ease after the rest of it.  
  
“Yeah?” That warm eager tone. Wanting you to say everything and anything on your mind.  
  
“Can we go to the game on Friday?” It had seemed so stupid. It _was_ so stupid. The girls didn’t matter. You knew that know. Understood it so fully when the two of you were like this. But that hole they’d dug couldn’t be filled in with drugs and sex. No matter how much you thought it would have.  
  
His laughter was light and sweet and intimately kind. “I didn’t even know you liked football.” In just as caring a measure. Asking without asking.  
  
And you couldn’t lie to him. “I don’t.” You didn’t care about it in the slightest. It was why none of it made sense. That he didn’t ask you. He didn’t ask you because you didn’t care. So why go? Why care? Why any of it...  
  
The spring uncoiled as he hushed you with a brush of his lips along your cheek. As if he could just hear everything you two had just settled becoming undone again. “Yeah. We can go.” It wouldn’t have made sense in a line of dialogue- if anyone had been watching the exchange it just wouldn’t have stood to reason. You didn’t like football, but he’d take you to the game anyway-  
  
He’d take you because he liked you. Maybe even... maybe even..  
  
Your nose brushed his as your head tipped up and back, searching for him. “Thank you.” Mumbled out, feeling his smile press against your lips in a lingering and sweet kiss.  
  
As he tugged you deep down with him you could have sworn he whispered those words that followed the _maybe_ _evens_ in your mind. Because maybe he did. Maybe you did.  
  
The little lamb loved Danny.  
And Danny loved his little lamb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out at the envelopesyou tumblr! And... you know! If you liked it don't be scared to let me know!


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